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    SHIRAZSOLLY   14,052
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints

Jokes About Dieting

Monday, April 15, 2013

“No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.” — George Bernard Shaw

(Shaw was exaggerating. But our brains are 75% saturated fat. And trans fat does not work as an acceptable substitute.)

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in 14 days I had lost exactly two weeks.
- Joe E. Lewis

from The Dawn Key Diet:

You know it's time to diet when... you dance and you make the band skip.

“The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.”–Julia Child


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2.. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans..
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MARYGOLD5 4/15/2013 9:01PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MARY1313 4/15/2013 7:17PM

    Love them!!!

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FELINEBETTER 4/15/2013 11:36AM

    Lol Way to start Monday off with a few laughs! emoticon

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KNYAGENYA 4/15/2013 11:27AM


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