If you do not like the direction you are going in...TURN AROUND!
I admit I have been coasting again. Weariness can cause me to just do what I have to, in order to survive. Coming off the Cymbalta was harder than I thought. Not in the physical sense, but in readjusting my mindset.
The pain has not returned with the intensity I had before the med. Good! I accept the small bits of pain. They are manageable.
I have regained my sense of empty/full, and my stomach growls once again if I do not eat in a timely manner. Good! Set regular eating times, and eat healthily. Eat enough!
I'm not inhaling the food, and have returned to slower eating. Food has flavor again. Water consumption is way up! Savor each bite, and eat what I genuinely like. Portion control!
I was eating at night while on the meds, and it is not an easy thing to change, once the habit was re-established. Meds or no meds, I do not do well if I eat at night. Period! If I plan an evening snack, it will help me create a new habit. Planning my daily food intake is an important factor in my conquering the late night eating. If I must have something on my tummy to help the meds, then it must be the healthiest option for an evening snack... SNACK! Not another meal! LOL! Two bites of something will suffice.
One thing that has helped me, during the crazy months of medical mania, was my bowling. The exercise helped me at least keep my body toned as I gained the extra pounds. As my body has released the bad medicine, I am feeling more like moving my body in a regular, daily routine. I am going to begin with using the Wii 10 minutes every day, setting it as a daily goal. I want a 30 day Spark Streak! Once I meet that goal, I'll chose another. 10 minutes IS do-able, even if I do not "feel" like it.
In spite of a wacky 5 months or so, I did manage to log on to SP daily, and touch base with my SP teams(not as much as I'd like!). I kept up my Time Alone w/God faithfully. My clothes did not desert me... jeans became a bit tight, but everything else fit decently. The weight gain was all over, not in just one area. Gotta LOVE bowling, for that, I think!
One of the old "tapes" has been playing in my mind... "You failed! If you don't Spark perfectly, you don't deserve to do it at all!" LIE! LIE! LIE! It isn't about perfection, it is about progress! Maybe my numbers on the scale are higher(going to change ticker after I finish this blog), but my resolve to be healthy and fit has NOT diminished! My journey has not stopped. It has taken a new turn... Back to small steps, one day at a time. I've come SO far in the 18 months since I found(by God's Grace!) SparkPeople. My health HAS improved! My body HAS changed! My attitude has been adjusted, and will continue to be... for the better!
I watched a documentary, last night, about a woman's 7 year journey to who she is today... her huge weight loss is inspiring! Her inner triumph is what I found most admirable... she looked inside to find what was the real reason she had allowed herself to be so heavy. As the body released the weight, she dealt with the issues within herself. It wasn't easy, and there were obstacles and "costs" she didn't expect. But she stayed true to herself and her vision of becoming a healthy person.
SparkPeople has hundreds of success stories similar to this brave woman's story. When I read about the success of others, I realize I can achieve my goals, too. I see others have struggled before me, and that struggle is part of the growth process. We have to do whatever it takes to reach the goals we have for ourselves. Only you can save yourself...
Thus, I am turning around, going back to the basics that worked for me to begin with. I have my own guide book... my journal entries when I began Sparking. I have my Tracker records. I have all the support I could ever need, and the tools to accomplish whatever goals I set.
Sometimes setting off in another direction just means you've reached a new understanding of yourself, and are ready to move forward into a better place.