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My Past is Not My Present

Sunday, April 14, 2013

I have a grey pant suit that I haven't worn in a couple of years. The pants were a little too loose when I first got them and so I ended up not wearing the suit very often, favoring a very comfortable brown suit that fit better. I tried the grey pants on today, knowing that I'm heavier now and thinking they would fit great. Guess what? They're now TIGHT.

I know that food tracking, eating and my aging body (I'm 36) have been constant topics here as I try to figure myself out. I was always thin and, even in my 20s, if I noticed that I was gaining a little weight, I would exercise for a couple of weeks and I'd be right back to where I wanted. In grad school I took my weight and blood pressure every month; I still have the log and I was between 126 and 132 pounds every month for about 2 years. Take a look:

I'm 20 pounds more than that now, 8+ years later. If my then-boyfriend was to see me now, would he think I got fat?!

I never understood why or how people gained weight or had trouble maintaining. I guess I always thought that if I didn't have children (which I am not planning on doing), then I wouldn't gain weight. That doesn't seem to be the case; I've been noticing this for a couple of years already. I think I've been in denial over my weight gain, even as much as I talk about it here.

My body at age 36 is not my body at age 26 and I need to learn how to adapt. I can do this.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v AMYD726
    I think even if you maintain the same weight your whole life, your body composition changes as you get older. Things settle into different places, you know? :)

    I think that it's really great that you have this self-awareness and that this look at the past has helped you re-evaluate some goals. But don't beat yourself up too much. You can't return to 28, but you can be the best 36 year-old possible! :)
    1168 days ago
    Well, I never ever thought I would be 61 but I am and still have some clothes in my closet that I bought when I was 40 thinking I would fit in to them. Your blog entry has made me decide I'm turning off my computer NOW and cleaning out the closet. I'll never fit in to those again. Even if I could, they would be WAY out of style. LOL

    And think of it this way, you wouldn't recognize your then-boyfriend, he's bald!!! emoticon

    Thanks for making me laugh, I can add that to my tracking today. Laughed out loud - Check! emoticon

    Yes, you can do this and you are. You are on SparkPeople. You are better than you ever thought you could be. emoticon
    1169 days ago
    Oh, yea. You are very smart to address the issue now - before you are many decades older (like I am) and find change much more difficult! You go, girl!
    1169 days ago
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