I have not attained my goal that I set on SparkPeople last year to lose 100 pounds. I started off strong and lost steam. I’m still proud of how I performed before I lost steam. I guess I experienced what most have or will experience doing this journey, doubt of self. People told me they saw the loss but I couldn’t see it and the scale wouldn’t show me what I wanted. So I lost steam and stopped. I only succeeded at not gaining all the weight I had lost back completely. The success was mild at that, I gained only 5 more than the original number that I posted when I started SP. What I know now is that SP can help you attain your goals but belief has to come from inside, daily reinforcement and habitual activity not to mention better if not healthy eating.
I have better eating habits, better than I ever have before. I make green smoothies, soups and eat at least 3 pieces of fruit in addition to this daily and I'm in love with it all. I don’t feel like I’m starving or that I am forcing myself. I found some positive benefits which is that I have more energy and I can control the sugar urges. I ate some sweet potato casserole on Easter Sunday which usually tastes great to me but it was off putting due to all the sugar. I believe this is due to increase in my veggie/fruit. I am consuming them in their purest form so the taste was off putting to me and strangely exciting. I believe because I am eating better that I am realizing that I can enjoy food without mounds of additives and this is coolness personified. I give into occasional urges less than ever as I am learning to control them but I reward myself every once in a while to stave off binging.
Next is activity. I started doing light activities like walking the dog and walking to work instead of riding the bus which is a 15 minute ride and now I walk that in 15 minutes or less. This is awesome to me since walking is my favorite activity, because I never considered it work. I had a breakthrough or an epiphany and thought that maybe if I consider the activity less work and more relaxation or fun that I likely to do it. Question to self was why not walk all the time? I don’t have to pay anyone to teach me, I can do it in good and bad weather and I have done it in both, it doesn’t take any special equipment so why not! I started walking with a friend at work for lunch, I like her, she challenges me , makes me walk harder and we show up for each other which made me show up for a friend for after work walks twice a week. She was feeling low and I offered to walk with her to get the stress off, spend time and lose weight if possible. She is inspired so I worked with her for a plan at job and she’s doing it and says she’s happy. So workout buddies are important. I now go to the gym and walk when I was planning to do nothing, walked 4.5 miles Friday after work to walk off residual negativity from work and I felt great and even sprinted out the last quarter mile. Me and the BF have decided that we want fitness to be like breathing to us and I like this idea.
I delve into my psychy and I know that I was never a fit person and always saw being active as a chore and was pretty slim as a child and a bookworm at that. No outside for me, fell off my bike once and never got on, skinned my knee skating and never tried again, jumping rope took skill so no to that, books just took knowing how to read. Yeah, I wished I wouldn’t have been scared about it all then so now I am just being a walking, talking Nike logo and just doing it or trying to. An SP friend (Sexbobomb) posted that she was trying to do 1000 minutes this month and hell, that seemed daunting to me but after I got 100 down I thought why not, I want that for self and here I am 360 minutes away from my goal so thanks Mrs. Badass for the inspiration to keep up.
I guess what I have learned is that even with loss of motivation, somewhat good eating habits, non-activity that I can still have a do over and learn to succeed this time and let’s not forget a healthy dose of prayer cause this gives me energy and faith when I have none to get.
I learned – that food can be liked in its regular form and taste great
I learned – that endorphins really do make you happy and make you want to do more
I learned – that the scale is an object that shows you an alternate reality of what is and what could be and you choose what it shows, just not how fast it shows it…lol
I learned - that I may never be the size I once was, but the future me can be a great combo of health and curves and still be fit
I leaned - not to be afraid of my own fit beast and to let it out more, love it and to treat activity as more of relaxation than a chore
I learned - to show up for self and that it can lead you to show up for others and foster change in more than just my life
I know – that through God, prayer, faith, belief, and positivity that all things are possible so I pray before, during and after and I love myself more than ever even when my scale or body shows what I don’t want to see
Change is a coming, slowly but it will be here…..the caterpillar does not turn into a butterfly overnight so starts the process. When will you start, join me!