Sunday, April 14, 2013
Okay, so it's still been a lot of the same song and dance the last couple weeks. Not eating right, not exercising. And I've been paying for it and let me tell you I'm getting pretty mad at myself. I shouldn't, but I am. I'm almost to the point of throwing in the towel because it seems that no matter what I do or what I try, I go back to being a lazy bum who eats too much and hates herself. Yesterday I found I was up 2 pounds from last week and let me tell you I was pissed. I called myself a cow and told myself I need to learn how to put down the fork. Really mean, I know. I need to work on how I talk to myself. But I was upset. I'm still upset. I did my measurements this morning and I'm not thrilled. But I guess I need to redirect that angry energy and do something about it. Again, something I am trying to work on. Anyway, I'm going to post a few more things here before I close. I'm going to post a letter to myself for the next 10 weeks and my BLC beginning measurements as well as a picture of myself in my wedding dress I took a few days ago because some people have wanted to see it and it will serve as my beginning photo for this BLC 18 challenge. Although, I'll warn everyone my hair looks like crap cuz it was still drying when the picture was taken. So, here it all is.
Dear self; Stop being so angry at yourself. You've made mistakes, you've paid for them, it's time to move on. You've forgiven those in your past that have hurt you, now it's time to forgive you and let go. You can do this, remember that. You are capable of far much more than you give yourself credit for and it's time to prove it to yourself and the world. You want to look great on your wedding day and you want to start a family, so do it! You can!
Weight: 287.6 Waist: 47.5 Hips: 52 Neck: 16 Chest: 47 Thigh: 31 Calf: 19.5 Forearm: 12.5 Upper Arm: 18 BMI: 49.5 Body Fat: 60.3% (really not happy about these numbers. At all)
Like I said, the hair is not pretty, but here's me in my wedding dress that mostly fits. I hope to have to have it adjusted IN by the we do say "I do".