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April 14th

Sunday, April 14, 2013

I am up in the middle of the night. I awoke to the sound of rain we haven't had hardly any rain here in Colorado in long time it is a nice treat when we so get some. Shadow doesn't mind this rain as there is no thunder involved LOL. I did some mediation when I woke up and still was unable to get back to sleep so I decided to do some sparking.

Friday the 12th was a really bad day I went to the Dr. again with a severe headache accompanied with the numbness and weakness on my right side(which has become normal the headache was a new addition). I had my friend drive me to the Dr. office. I do have a referral to go see a neurologist but can't see the neurologist until I get insurance. My regular Dr. says that the symptoms I am having ties into my neuropathy. I don't recall reading that at all. I haven't read up on it again yet. I had my blood drawn. When these attacks happen it really makes me wonder if I can die from them my friend is afraid as well. When I called her to ask if she could take me to the Dr. I had a hard time telling her I needed a ride as I couldn't drive myself.

My daughter went out with her boyfriend before I had my attack, she was home when I got home and she was in tears her boyfriend broke up with her again. He broke up with her last November and they got back together. It tears me up to see her so upset. Today she didn't talk to anybody I talked to her and she didn't talk back just shrugged her shoulders her eyes and face are red from crying.

I have been thinking up resigning from my positions on my local Relay For Life committee due to my health issues I am the food chair and team development co-chair. I haven't talked to my event chair and friend(she is the one who took me to the Dr.) about my thoughts of resigning. I am just so depressed right now and probably not thinking straight. I am unemployed so being on the committee is good for keeping me busy I am worried what if I have an attack at the events. I do know that the other committee members without hesitation will cover for me. I will still keep my team active and go to relay. I just don't know anymore.

I have started the process of applying for disability again. With this crap going on now with my health I don't think that I will be able to hold a job. I get these attacks 3-4 times a week and they are now lasting anywhere from 6-12 hours. I really hate this.

It is frustrating to have come so far with eating healthy, exercising and losing weight which I was advised to do by doctors I have even quit smoking to have this going on.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FREES1
    sorry to hear these attacks are continuing.. can you contact your local health department or county hospital and see if there is anything they can do for you? many "public" hospitals do have programs to assist folks who cannot afford full payment. I had a friend who had MS and he explained his neuropathy as that pain and tingling you described - I believe that is what neuropathy means, but I could be wrong. I do hope you get the answers you so desperately seek.
    As for your volunteer work it would seem that as your chair is the one who took you to the doctor you have a wonderful opening just to talk about your concerns openly and honestly and the two of you, and many other members of the team, can decide together - once you let go of trying to wrestle this by yourself you might find it loses some of its power over you and you feel better mentally...
    Hang in there
    1405 days ago
    I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time. I hope that you get some answers soon about your attacks. I know it is hard to see your daughter like that and I hope she gets better soon too.
    1407 days ago
    Sorry you have so many trials now. I hope you can see the specialist soon and life settles down a vit. Thoughts and prayers coming your way.
    1408 days ago
    I am so sorry you are ill and can't get the help you so desperately need. If I were you I would start calling every neurologist and hospital explaining what you are going through and that you need help and ask if they will help you and if not who can I had to go on disability and it took me a couple of years working with an attorney. The attorney doesn't charge you until you get your disability settlement and it does help to make the process go faster. In the meantime there has to be some other way you can get help and I as I suggested I would call everyone until they got so tired of hearing from me that they would help me find some help. God bless you and keep you and you go through this illness. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. emoticon
    1408 days ago
    emoticon I hope applying for the disability goes as stress-free as possible, and gives you one less thing to worry about.

    Don't feel bad if you need to step back from volunteering; I'm sure everyone will understand if you aren't up to it; maybe someone else could take over for you this year and you can see how you feel the next, and maybe there are other things you can do that aren't as big as a commitment. It's important to take care of yourself right now and get to feeling better!
    1408 days ago
    I think it's great that you started applying for disability. Go for it. You're right that your volunteer work at least gives you something to do. You need that. But do talk to them and let them know that you are having a hard time. I'm sure they will be there to help and support you.
    1409 days ago
    I see your emoticon every day in EMOTICONS and have been praying for you- now I know why you are sad., and confused. I am so sorry the attacks are coming so often. Hopefully there won't be any snags with your disability application- but please- don't stop volunteering. you need to be connecting with people, and those people will pull for you , and help you through the tough times. Neuropathy just plain ain't fun
    1409 days ago
    Today is a great day to start again.
    Don't give up! You're worth it!

    We get a very beautiful visitor often. Read my blog!
    1409 days ago
    I hope everything works out for you.
    1409 days ago
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