Sunday, April 14, 2013
I am up in the middle of the night. I awoke to the sound of rain we haven't had hardly any rain here in Colorado in long time it is a nice treat when we so get some. Shadow doesn't mind this rain as there is no thunder involved LOL. I did some mediation when I woke up and still was unable to get back to sleep so I decided to do some sparking.
Friday the 12th was a really bad day I went to the Dr. again with a severe headache accompanied with the numbness and weakness on my right side(which has become normal the headache was a new addition). I had my friend drive me to the Dr. office. I do have a referral to go see a neurologist but can't see the neurologist until I get insurance. My regular Dr. says that the symptoms I am having ties into my neuropathy. I don't recall reading that at all. I haven't read up on it again yet. I had my blood drawn. When these attacks happen it really makes me wonder if I can die from them my friend is afraid as well. When I called her to ask if she could take me to the Dr. I had a hard time telling her I needed a ride as I couldn't drive myself.
My daughter went out with her boyfriend before I had my attack, she was home when I got home and she was in tears her boyfriend broke up with her again. He broke up with her last November and they got back together. It tears me up to see her so upset. Today she didn't talk to anybody I talked to her and she didn't talk back just shrugged her shoulders her eyes and face are red from crying.
I have been thinking up resigning from my positions on my local Relay For Life committee due to my health issues I am the food chair and team development co-chair. I haven't talked to my event chair and friend(she is the one who took me to the Dr.) about my thoughts of resigning. I am just so depressed right now and probably not thinking straight. I am unemployed so being on the committee is good for keeping me busy I am worried what if I have an attack at the events. I do know that the other committee members without hesitation will cover for me. I will still keep my team active and go to relay. I just don't know anymore.
I have started the process of applying for disability again. With this crap going on now with my health I don't think that I will be able to hold a job. I get these attacks 3-4 times a week and they are now lasting anywhere from 6-12 hours. I really hate this.
It is frustrating to have come so far with eating healthy, exercising and losing weight which I was advised to do by doctors I have even quit smoking to have this going on.