Saturday, April 13, 2013
It might not feel like it right now, but SUMMER IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, and we MUST stay motivated if we’re going to enjoy it to its fullest. Wintry weather and gloomy skies might make us crave comfort foods, but we must keep our eye on the prize which, of course, is not hating ourselves when we try on that first pair of shorts of the summer.
My Top Ten Reasons to Lose Weight for Summer :
1) To create less shade. As a Christian, I am called to serve others, but I don’t know that creating shade for others in my vicinity is really what I am called to do. Perhaps they can wear sunscreen or accept the benefits of vitamin D rather than count on my wide girth to protect them from the strong midsummer sun.
2) To swiftly run from wild animals. Whether I’m hiking in the Northland, canoeing in the Boundary Waters, or walking across campus to harass some librarians, I could encounter a wild animal. I want to be in shape to run away and avoid attack (I find those little campus squirrels awfully threatening)!
3) To use less water. I want to protect our natural resources and model an eco-friendly lifestyle for my children. One way to do that is to use less water. The smaller I am, the less water I will need when I shower. Other benefits would include a lowered water bill, less time in the shower, and less time drying off. Don’t you value time, money, and our earth?
4) My bicycle seat will hurt less. As Minnesotans, I believe it is mandatory that we ride our bikes around the lakes, on the bike paths, and in our neighborhoods at dusk. If I weigh less, it will hurt less. I can imagine how much more enjoyable those rides will be if my seat is comfortable on my seat!
5) To stop aerating the lawn. I have been invited to a few lovely garden weddings this summer, and I will probably wear heels. If I am lighter, I am less likely to lose a high-heeled shoe in the lawn. I am quite certain my chiropractor will scold me that limping home in one high-heeled shoe is bad for my spine.
6) I don’t want to look like a half-opened can of biscuits when I wear my swimsuit. When I go to a friend’s cabin, visit the beach on Lake Johanna, or haul the kids to the pool, I want my swimsuit to fit as it was designed: as coverage, not as protective casing.
7) To sink. My kids like diving for those rubber torpedoes that sink to the bottom of the pool. To recover the torpedoes left behind at the end of the day, I count on my toe dexterity to pick them up. If I wasn’t so “buoyant”, I might be able to retrieve them the old fashioned way: with my snout like a porpoise.
8) Spanx don’t look good under bikinis. Since the invention of Lycra, I have worn it as a substitution for weight loss. I also have also counted on Spanx as an extra layer of warmth (much like long underwear) all winter. Unfortunately, girdles become sauna-like in the summer and, although I am not certain about the science behind it, I believe Spanx can cause hot flashes in 20-40 year olds in temperatures over 70 degrees.
9) I aspire to be the weight I have recorded on my driver’s license. As I fly down the street with the windows down and gospel music blaring, I may be pulled over for noise control. Wouldn’t it be nice if the officer could recognize me on my driver’s license and not ask if I borrowed the ID from a thinner sibling?
10) To honor our creator. I recently overheard one friend say to another friend, “You look so much more like YOU now that you’ve lost weight.” Excess weight distorts the way we are designed to look, to feel, to act, and to move through our world. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, and that beautiful creative design was purposeful. Moving toward a healthy, adaptive weight allows us to be restored to what we were originally designed to be: healthy and whole.