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Day 4.13Things I can't tell my trainer

Saturday, April 13, 2013 Because he's a BOY. And I'm very protective of my innermost thoughts and feelings about things involving me. And feel weird and squirmy and embarassed at the idea of sharing it with him. Though I think I'd probably be hesitant even if he were a she, just because, well...I'm very protective of my innermost thoughts and feelings lol. Except here, which is weird...but maybe not, because hey, none of y'all know me in real life. So that makes it okay somehow. Ha. So weird.

He asked my what my goals were. I basically shrugged and said ,'I don't know, just to get into better shape I guess'. I chickened out big time. What are my goals? To get into better shape. To have PIPES for arms. Shoulders that are round and solid and sexy and defined with little striations running through them in between the 3 different sections of shoulder muscle. Chest muscles that come together to form a nice line down the middle of my chest (hey, I have no boobs, so I gotta get that line/separation somewhere lol). Collarbones with that little divot between them and the chest muscle. A back that has muscles rippling and flowing all over the place when I move (I actually kind of have that, my back is a bit freaky, just lightly covered in fat right now so it's not too detailed yet). I want a stomach that is as flat as my 40 yr-old loose-skin will allow it to be. A visible 2-pack would be nice as well, but not sure that feasible. Maybe just a FEELable 2 or 4-pack, lol.

I want LEGS. Not skinny or tiny legs, because that's not how I'm built--but if I'm going to have big legs, I want them to be STRONG, dammit. To have the strength to haul my arse up the side of a mountain without wimping out. And speaking of arse--well, it will never be 'bounce a quarter off of' tight, but I'd sure like it to at least get back up to where it belongs, instead of sagging halfway down to my knees lolol. I'd like my thighs to go eff themselves--I mean, ahem--I'd like my thighs to stop jiggling and just be SOLID. And STRONG. I'd like the weird little fat pockets on the inside of my knees to go away. Really, really go away--so I can wear shorts again without feeling quite so uncomfortable. I know the stretch marks are there to stay, but won't waste my time fretting about things that are beyond changing. I'd also like my boobs to get back up to where they belong, but that might be a losing battle to be fought lol. And by gosh I want my calves to have that cute little muscle at the bottom--the one that you get from hiking and running and walking and doing and living.

The common thread to all these goals?? I really truly believe I can achieve them. They're not some fantastical 'maybe in a perfect world' scenario. They are things I can see being able to achieve, simply by doing......wait for it.....................

...........what I'm already doing.


That's crazy talk, yo. Your goals have always been unATTAINABLE. That's what makes them so goddam appealing. What's this shiz--realistic goals---pfffft. Who are you and when did you hijack Mar's posts?




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    1777 days ago
  • LE7_1234

    Whether you told him or not, just the fact that you have such a totally clear goal of what you want, everywhere, will really help you get there.
    1777 days ago
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