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Bacon Chocolate Stout Cheesecake!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

So here's something I would never, ever have thought I'd hear myself say....last night I had me a big old slice of chocolate, bacon, and stout cheesecake.

Actually 2 slices...2 big slices!

Let me start from the beginning.

For the last 3-4 months, SWMBO has been co-chair for this big hoopla charity auction. We like to volunteer for a number of local charities and this is one that she runs with. It's a great and fun event, but it also drives me batty. For the 3-4 months leading up to this thing, I get to hear about all the drama, all the details, all the near catastrophic events that are about to derail the whole effort.

I, of course, being a "let's get 'er done" kind of guy, jump in and say stupid things like, "Why don't you just do (fill in the blank)" or "Just tell Susie to (fill in the blank)"

These are not nearly as helpful as I think they are. They lead to me to getting that tight-lipped, squinty-eyed look of exasperation which I have learned means, "just shut-up and listen would you!"

Anyway, last night this thing kicked off. We had a couple of tables with friends, we mingled, bid on some of the silent auction items, and scoped out stuff for the live auction.

By tradition, they auction off some badass looking cakes & desserts first thing. You bring these to your table and feast upon them as the auctioneer cajoles you into a bidding war for that one-of-a-kind signed football or a 4-day getaway hotel & spa package.

Luckily, I was able to duck out of work early so I could go lift before changing up for this in 90 minutes of pretty decent work on chest & shoulders. I thought I was being real good when I won a plate full of chocolate-covered strawberries for our table. Well I thought I was being good...until the madness began!

"Up next, is this decadent looking, Chocolate, BACON, and stout cheesecake! Yes folks, there's one pound of BACON in this chocolate I hear $40?"

My hand shot up!

Bacon, chocolate, stout, cheese, and cake.....are you freaking kidding me!?!?! This is man-heaven....the only thing missing is a grilled steak and Sofia Vergara slicing it up at your table

Slowly, inexorably, Mr Chocolate Bacon & Stout Cheesecake got bid up to $ was between me another guy 4 or 5 tables down....Newman!

Well next thing you know, all our pals at our table keep egging me on, "Hey, I'm in for $20, keep raising him!'

Mr Chocolate Bacon & Stout Cheesecake is now worth $150!

Meanwhile the auctioneer is loving's a classic bidding war and he's knows he's got us hooked.

SWMBO, while happy to have the auction coffers get filled to the brim, is giving me the "Really?!?!?" look

I stood up and bellowed loudly "One hundred and sixty dollars!"

Auctions are kind of like going to Vegas....once you resolve you're going to dump a wad of cash there, you focus on enjoying the atmosphere and don't worry about the fact that you're dumping quarters into a machine....or paying $160 for a cake!

I scoped out Newman at the other end of the room, feverishly conferring with his friends, the sweat building up on his brow. I eye-balled everyone at our table, making sure nobody was about to break. "We're all in right? That cake is coming here. Anybody disagree with that?" They all nodded and threw a couple more twenties my way.

That's all Newman needed to see....he waved off!

You know what victory tastes like?

It tastes like BACON! And CHOCOLATE, and STOUT, and CHEESE, and CAKE!

Was it good?

Well it was different. It was definitely different. We savored every spoonful, as the various flavors played off each other with every bite; the sweetness of the chocolate, the bitterness of the stout, and the smoky, savory crunch of bacon to finish it off.

Yeah, it was worth it! I even invited Newman over to our table to give him a slice.

It's been about 4 months since I've had any kind of massive sugary cake overload....and today I know the reason why

This morning SWMBO and I looked at each other wondering what the hell happened. We both had a sugar coma hangover (the part I didn't mention is that she spent $90 on an Italian Cream Cheesecake!)

And so 3 hours after waking up I'm just now starting to feel normal again, drinking a lot of coffee, a lot of water.....and really looking forward to hitting the gym to burn off the remnants of last night's sugar overload....I know now why it's been so good to cut sugar out of my daily life. For the rest of this weekend, it's salads, chicken, fish, and veggies!

But I can't promise I'll go to my grave without someday having me another slice of bacon chocolate stout cheesecake!

Have a great day Spark friends!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
NINJA_SMOO 4/25/2013 3:05PM

  Ooooh, I can just imagine! My favourite brew-pub has a maple bacon cheesecake that they make. It's off-menu, but they always have one around if you know to ask. Sooooo gooooooood.

Those auctions are dangerous things!

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DOUGDC 4/25/2013 10:56AM

    The recipe exists -- and it's on my list of things to do...


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PMRUNNER 4/25/2013 8:13AM

    Love it!

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FANGFACEKITTY 4/25/2013 2:03AM

    emoticon A picture is worth 1000 words...would that the calories at least matched!

Bacon? cheesecake?...Some baker somewhere needs serious professional help.

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IFDEEVARUNS2 4/23/2013 11:55AM

    Sounds wonderful! Actually, both cakes do.

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DOUGDC 4/20/2013 10:01AM

    "My hand shot up." With that sentence you brought me to your table!

We need the recipe!

Great story. Thanks for sharing. And...

We need the recipe!


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LISAINMS 4/16/2013 12:59PM

    Now that's a night worth a sugar coma! What fun and for a good cause.

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ARCHIMEDESII 4/14/2013 1:57PM

    How could I resist reading a blog with the title bacon chocolate stout cheesecake.

What a country !!

That is a serious looking cheesecake. It has insane pastry chef written all over it. Thank you for your awesome description of the event. Great story.


Comment edited on: 4/14/2013 1:58:24 PM

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VHALKYRIE 4/14/2013 1:48PM

    I sampled cakes at a local grocery and I felt a sugar rush just from a couple of bites! I was reminded of why I don't like it anymore.

Thanks for the description so now I don't have to try this at home!

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FLDEEZ 4/14/2013 10:00AM

    I can't begin to imagine... but that was a great read!

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BEATLETOT 4/13/2013 5:41PM

    Oh, sounds like you guys had fun!!! and that cake sounds AMAZING...though definitely a "sometimes (almost never) food"! =)

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STRONG_SARAH 4/13/2013 3:18PM

    Wow that sounds fantastic! Good for you. I mean, I'm sorry about your sugar hangover, but it sounds worth it!

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BERGBA7 4/13/2013 2:46PM

    well... I would probably not have bit on any of your cakes... emoticon ... but... was there a peanut butter silk cake? This would have been my fall down!
Hope you enjoyed hitting the gym tonight.

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JLEMUS1 4/13/2013 1:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BEECHNUT13 4/13/2013 1:09PM

    Yea, I feel you, man. You can tell you've turned the corner of healthy living when eating a bunch of sugar makes you feel like you're recovering from a night of heavy binge drinking.

One of my favorite recipes is my friend's chocolate stout brownies... I really think stout should be a food group. Lucky for me, I have 3 Bell's Porter and a New Holland Poet Oatmeal Stout sitting in my fridge for when I'm feeling frisky. ;)

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    It would *definitely* be worth trying! Glad you had a good time.

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WOUBBIE 4/13/2013 12:00PM

    LOL! For a minute I thought it was April 1 again! Good memories - fierce competition, fun, and carb hangover.... XD

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ANASARI 4/13/2013 11:56AM

    haha That was fun and I really enjoyed reading about your adventures in food! Thank you for sharing such a great post!

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STRIVERONE 4/13/2013 10:51AM

    You should grab all your blog entries and publish them as a collection of humorous essays. I don't know which cause me more damage. I've still got sore sides from the farmer carries and now the ache is compounded from splitting my ribs laughing at today's story.

Comment edited on: 4/13/2013 11:15:42 AM

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4EVERNESS 4/13/2013 10:28AM

    A once in a lifetime gotta wasn't about the food... :) But savor the Italian Cream Cheesecake for me!

Maybe next time it'll be a horseradish ginger jalapeno black forest torte.... LOL

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NCSUE0514 4/13/2013 10:05AM

    Glad you liked it, but it doesn't sound in the least bit tempting to me... for which I most gratefully thank God!

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KESTRYLL 4/13/2013 9:47AM

    Sounds wonderful, thanks for sharing!

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