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Bacon Chocolate Stout Cheesecake!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

So here's something I would never, ever have thought I'd hear myself say....last night I had me a big old slice of chocolate, bacon, and stout cheesecake.

Actually 2 slices...2 big slices!

Let me start from the beginning.

For the last 3-4 months, SWMBO has been co-chair for this big hoopla charity auction. We like to volunteer for a number of local charities and this is one that she runs with. It's a great and fun event, but it also drives me batty. For the 3-4 months leading up to this thing, I get to hear about all the drama, all the details, all the near catastrophic events that are about to derail the whole effort.

I, of course, being a "let's get 'er done" kind of guy, jump in and say stupid things like, "Why don't you just do (fill in the blank)" or "Just tell Susie to (fill in the blank)"

These are not nearly as helpful as I think they are. They lead to me to getting that tight-lipped, squinty-eyed look of exasperation which I have learned means, "just shut-up and listen would you!"

Anyway, last night this thing kicked off. We had a couple of tables with friends, we mingled, bid on some of the silent auction items, and scoped out stuff for the live auction.

By tradition, they auction off some badass looking cakes & desserts first thing. You bring these to your table and feast upon them as the auctioneer cajoles you into a bidding war for that one-of-a-kind signed football or a 4-day getaway hotel & spa package.

Luckily, I was able to duck out of work early so I could go lift before changing up for this event...got in 90 minutes of pretty decent work on chest & shoulders. I thought I was being real good when I won a plate full of chocolate-covered strawberries for our table. Well I thought I was being good...until the madness began!

"Up next, is this decadent looking, Chocolate, BACON, and stout cheesecake! Yes folks, there's one pound of BACON in this chocolate cake....do I hear $40?"

My hand shot up!

Bacon, chocolate, stout, cheese, and cake.....are you freaking kidding me!?!?! This is man-heaven....the only thing missing is a grilled steak and Sofia Vergara slicing it up at your table


Slowly, inexorably, Mr Chocolate Bacon & Stout Cheesecake got bid up to $100....it was between me another guy 4 or 5 tables down....Newman!


Well next thing you know, all our pals at our table keep egging me on, "Hey, I'm in for $20, keep raising him!'

Mr Chocolate Bacon & Stout Cheesecake is now worth $150!

Meanwhile the auctioneer is loving it....it's a classic bidding war and he's knows he's got us hooked.

SWMBO, while happy to have the auction coffers get filled to the brim, is giving me the "Really?!?!?" look


I stood up and bellowed loudly "One hundred and sixty dollars!"

Auctions are kind of like going to Vegas....once you resolve you're going to dump a wad of cash there, you focus on enjoying the atmosphere and don't worry about the fact that you're dumping quarters into a machine....or paying $160 for a cake!

I scoped out Newman at the other end of the room, feverishly conferring with his friends, the sweat building up on his brow. I eye-balled everyone at our table, making sure nobody was about to break. "We're all in right? That cake is coming here. Anybody disagree with that?" They all nodded and threw a couple more twenties my way.

That's all Newman needed to see....he waved off!

You know what victory tastes like?

It tastes like BACON! And CHOCOLATE, and STOUT, and CHEESE, and CAKE!



Was it good?

Well it was different. It was definitely different. We savored every spoonful, as the various flavors played off each other with every bite; the sweetness of the chocolate, the bitterness of the stout, and the smoky, savory crunch of bacon to finish it off.

Yeah, it was worth it! I even invited Newman over to our table to give him a slice.

It's been about 4 months since I've had any kind of massive sugary cake overload....and today I know the reason why

This morning SWMBO and I looked at each other wondering what the hell happened. We both had a sugar coma hangover (the part I didn't mention is that she spent $90 on an Italian Cream Cheesecake!)


And so 3 hours after waking up I'm just now starting to feel normal again, drinking a lot of coffee, a lot of water.....and really looking forward to hitting the gym to burn off the remnants of last night's sugar overload....I know now why it's been so good to cut sugar out of my daily life. For the rest of this weekend, it's salads, chicken, fish, and veggies!

But I can't promise I'll go to my grave without someday having me another slice of bacon chocolate stout cheesecake!

Have a great day Spark friends!
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