Saturday, April 13, 2013
Well, I caught a really nasty flu virus, which wiped me out physically for about a month so I have done hardly any exercise. I caught sight of my reflection yesterday and was pretty horrified. I tend to avoid looking in the mirror these days - just preferring to stay in denial I guess. My shoulder has been playing up again - I'm not sure why - it may be the excess weight I am carrying.
I have yo-yo dieted for so long and I feel hopeless to break the cycle. I wish I could find a way that worked for me - the Holy Grail of losing weight and keeping it off.
I decided to pick up Sward's "you are more than what you weigh" and Beck's "The Beck diet solution" which look at emotional eating.
Sward starts with looking at your body as more than just the fat you hate. So I will use my blog to record my previous unhealthy thinking and a plan to replace these thoughts.
I hate my face - the round cheeks, big nose, double chin, but I have piercing blue eyes and a warm smile. I hate my flabby arms, but they are good for hugging and giving others comfort. I hate my flabby stomach and back, but they give me core strength for riding. I hate my enormous hips, but the give my feminine shape. I hate my chunky legs, but they are powerful and strong and help me to riding bikes and get places.
I don't believe people when they compliment my appearance. I can start thinking of my body and as friend rather than an enemy and have it work with me rather than fighting it. I have to accept that loving my body does not mean I have to change my personality.