Friday, April 12, 2013
I am still recuperating from major surgery and just started back to work part time. I have decided to use the time away from my job to get better acquainted with SPARKPEOPLE. Building a binder of info based on nutrition, exercise, motivation and dealing with diabetes are my main focuses with a section on favorite recipes.
Since I am not on a diet, but on a new living plan, and because I was not cooking much but eating out a lot, I have moved back into the kitchen and am really enjoying it. It means setting aside time to research foods, grocery shop and prepare meals. My main frustration is cooking for one, so I am cooking for 4 to 6 and freezing quantities for other times. How nice to come home exhausted and be able to have home cooking after a few minutes in the microwave.
There are great recipes on SPARKPEOPLE. I don't have to live on plain, skinless, baked chicken and raw carrot sticks. I feel like I have entered a whole new world of discovery.
I have purchased a new digital scale and a set of 3 DVDs by Leslie Sansone for walking at home. Right now I must be very careful while I am in healing mode, but am starting slowly and cautiously.
There are many things that happen to motivate people to change their lives and lose weight. We read about their "aha" moments all the time. I have had many embarrassing and hurtful things happen that just were not that moment. I have prayed and cried and still felt like a slave to processed foods and especially chocolate. I always felt helpless and turned to comfort foods when sad, depressed, worried, angry, happy, bored...
I went to OA for a while and it seemed to be working until I realized that so many people were starting over, again and again. I felt defeated.
Doctors' warnings about impending health problems, 2 battles with cancer that included surgery and no need for follow-up treatments, somehow made me feel like I was always able to dodge the bullet.
Then Valentine's Day changed it all. Two days after surgery, I nearly died. They were about to send me from a small town hospital to ICU in a city hospital because my organs had shut down. Something inside of me said I was in a very dark place and I mentally pulled myself out. They did not have to send me. By Feb. 25th I was on my home with a great respect for doctors and nurses and a very humble gratitude for being given more time in this life.
I wrote down everything that happened during those 2 weeks. It was a terrible experience that I never want to forget. Now each day is a gift and this was my "aha" moment!
Unfortunately, the pattern of my life has always been that I need to be hit over the head or brought to my knees to realize things. It is such a hard way to learn. I do learn though.
I know every day will not be perfect, but every day will be a joy.