Thursday, April 11, 2013
today has been a weird day. I am overly emotional and I am not sure why. This is not typical of me, particularily after a rest day. Thankfully, I work at a church where the expression of emotion is not seen as weakness, but rather a chance to talk and connect.
Some of the emotion is grief. Loss of expectations in some personal issues, missing my dad and letting of some dreams. I recognize that. This may be hitting me deeper than I intially realized. If so, it is totally fine.
Some of the emotion is stress. My primary supervisor is not here so I am covering a large portion of his work in addition to my own. I enjoy the work, but the extra hours are taking their toll.
I also had caffinee later than I should have last night and didn't sleep as well as normal. I was up till after midnight so I am feeling a bit tired as well.
All these factors can add up to an emotional girl. Just not normal for me. I am usually in control of my emotions. I relieve stress through working out typically or talking with friends. Just find it interesting is all.
While embarassing at times, I am grateful for the emotions. In my times of vulenerability, I have been blessed to not only share my life story, but hear of others journies as well. he privelege of walking with my friends/church members in dark times is a gift that you can't buy. The times to show grace to one another, to be real and take off our "church face", that is the time when we are fully living into ourselves.
One of my long term goals is to be more vulenerable with those I know I can trust. I am slowly working on this. Scary? Absolutely, worth it? Beyond a doubt.