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    JAHAR929   26,091
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My morning affair

Thursday, April 11, 2013

I remember it like it just happened this morning ;) Allow me to share:

It was early.

Early for me, that is.

I was just starting to come too, trying to hang onto to the final moments of what was a fabulous dream. In my dream, I had just birthed a gorgeous baby with more ease than it takes me to get through a mere 5k. Standing there holding roses was a stellar handsome fella (I'm assuming my babies daddy). Scanning the gorgeous abode I was clearly inhabiting, there I was holding my few day old infant looking like I stepped off of the Real Housewives show. That's right. Ridiculous, but fun to recall none the less.

As I am starting to come too, I hear my alarm off to the left. Eyes still closed with the fatigue of a short four hours of slumber. I start to make sense of my surroundings. Yes, my room. That is where I am. Comfy covers and soft sheets keeping me cozy as I lay there on my back with my arms above my head. You see, I sleep like a gymnast executing the perfect dismount! Arms raised overhead, smile on face :)

Anyways, back to my story. So, as I am collecting myself, I hear this faint breathing. Not wanting to fully spring to my feet or shoot my eyelids open prematurely, I start thinking what this might be. Meh, I knew I was alone so there was no reason to panic.

That's when I noticed it. A slight weight on my chest. Like some really bad heartburn or how you feel after doing too many crunches at the gym. I felt this faint warmth hitting the tip of my nose in the most rhythmic way. Wait for it, there it was again. Wait....and again!!! Hmmm.....

That's when I felt it. Something on my lips and slip into my slightly open mouth. Warm, wet, kind of resembling leather dipped in fish sauce. I felt it four or five times before realizing I wasn't dreaming.

My right eye shot open and I was nose to nose with my 10 month old cat Bruce totally making out with my FACE!!!!! He looked at me, I looked at him. His paws stretched out on each side of my face, gently embracing my mug as he enjoyed giving me one of the most awkward morning wake ups I have ever had.

Oh.my.God. Kitty makeout session. Without my knowledge. Oh.dear.Lord.

I sprung out of bed throwing Bruce at least 5 feet in the air as I sprinted to the bathroom to rinse my mouth out with whatever I could find! Alcohol, peroxide, RUM.....ahhhh, lysterine. Thank you Jesus!

Needless to say, I think my baby boy has separation issues. His full-time professional and full-time phd student momma is hardly ever home and this is indicative that it is taking its toll on my overly-needy kitteh.

If I learned anything from this whole experience it is that I am going to start buying Bruce better cat food ;)



(gross....)



Peace and love all! Hope you got a good chuckle. Lord knows I've been laughing about this all morning!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAHAR929 4/12/2013 1:29PM

    Glad you are all smiling :) It has been such a good time with this lover little kitteh!

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BATCHICK 4/12/2013 1:22PM

    Wow, he sure loves his mama! Thanks for the laugh!

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TEDIEBEAR1 4/11/2013 6:55PM

    Hahaha! I had a cat in college who stole my sandwiches and chewed on my hair at night. His name was Bad Ass. lol

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JAHAR929 4/11/2013 4:45PM

    No problem :)

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SARBRO928 4/11/2013 3:39PM

  Thank you for the laugh at work!

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JAHAR929 4/11/2013 2:47PM

    Squirrellyone--that is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

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SQUIRRELLYONE 4/11/2013 2:42PM

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

My friend's cat was super-creepy too... he would suck on your earlobes at night. LOL



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