15,000-19,999 SparkPoints 17,769

Why can't I write short blogs!? (Oh yes, I'm back :P)

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Well folks, remember me? I have been less than active to say the least in the entire month of march.
I gained back 12 pounds which brings me back to my weight of august 2012 (yeah it took me that long to lose 12 pounds!)
I've been very low.
I flirted with some really unhealthy behavior like hiding myself to eat crappy food.
I stopped exercising completely, first because my computer was broken and I couldn't do Be Fit in 90, then because... well for no reasons really!
I convinced myself that I deserved a break and ate more McDonald in one month than I did in the last 2 years probably!
I blamed my grand-father's death for my behaviors.
Most of all, I avoided the truth, avoided myself and for that reason, I avoided Sparkpeople.

I had so much hopes for the BLC! Probably these hopes were way too big. I wanted to lose 20-25 in 12 weeks... I ended up 4 pounds heavier!

I finally decided that it was silly to act the way I was acting. I was tired of my plotting to eat before getting home so my bf won’t judge me, to find reasons why I would not exercise and I had enough of the lies.

Part of me hoped that coming to that realisation would spark a burst of motivation and enthusiasm, a new found interest in my weight-loss but it did not. So I'll have to do without motivation, but I'll do it. I will do it because I have to, because I deserve it and because it’s just stupid to stop midway when I can look back and see the results I had last year!!!

With my coming choir concerts, I have little time to exercise, but I still got to eat. So until the concerts (april 20-21th), I'll focus on my water and food. Because even the water when out the window last month, imagine!

Then, with the weather finally getting nicer, I'll start to run again. Here is the schedule I want to established, once I buy a bike and that should happen in a week or two:

Cardio: Jogging
Strength training: Arms, back and abs

Cardio: Biking
Strength training: Legs and butt

Cardio: Jogging
Strength training: Arms, back and abs

Cardio: Swimming
Strength training: Legs and butt

Cardio: Jogging
Strength training: Arms, back and abs

Cardio: Biking
Strength training: Legs and butt

Cardio: Elliptical
Strength training: No ST but some yoga or other stretch relaxation type of things

These sessions will vary in time depending on many things, but I want to get the habit back of moving EVERYDAY, even if it's only for 30 minutes.
For now, I'm not starting BeFit in 90 again because I fear all the jumping will soon really annoyed the neighbors downstairs.

I also volunteered to help my team captain with the in-between challenge for BLC. That will help with my accountability.
I’ve received many goodies and message following the death of my grandfather and I want to thank you for you kind words and prayers. I wasn’t super closed to my grandpa, but it’s always hard to come to the realisation that he won’t be there anymore.

Many of you also checked to see if I was ok because I was not active on SP. You are largely responsible for my come back. In the mist of my despair, you message made me feel special, made me feel worth the effort. I did not came back right away but your words slowly made their way to my stubborn brain and here I am.

So if I ever go missing again, please send me a note, a goodies anything and I will be forever grateful, because I DON’T WANT to give up!
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Glad you are back. I have been gone as well. Together we can make progress
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1773 days ago
  • FISHER011
    1774 days ago
    SO happy to see you're back! We all have our rough times and it's admirable that you came out the other side of yours and made it back to the site.

    I know you said you'll do it without motivation but you'll do it -
    You posted about a blog awhile back that talked about doing the healthy things as habits even when the motivation is not there, that helped me through a really rough patch I was having. Sometimes when I lose my motivation I just go through the motions of doing what I am 'supposed to' do anyway. Once I lose a pound or two my spark usually comes back because I want to keep it going.

    You ARE worth the effort! Keep fighting emoticon

    1774 days ago
    Glad you're back! emoticon
    1775 days ago
    Welcome back! Looks like a great plan!!
    1775 days ago
    That looks like a very full workout schedule. Be sure to allow for a rest day. emoticon
    1775 days ago
    WELCOME BACK! Missed you :) not many friends from the province here and they all seem to leave so I was like nooooooooooooooo come back. There you are! :D
    1775 days ago

    Good for you! And welcome back!

    emoticon emoticon
    1775 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.