As I sit here with my front door open, listening to the birds chirping and feeling a cool breeze blowing past...I see the sun come and go.
I think we are due for some rain showers later tonight.
But its ok.
I am going to enjoy this day as much as I can.
The last 3 days were beautiful...highs in the 80's, bright sunny and hot.
Of course, I spent the better part of those days inside, inside a hot, stuffy courtroom.
Listening to the horror story and waiting with dread the outcome of the trial.
When we would get a break, or the court would recess for lunch...My friend and his family, who almost all smoke, would go to the smoking area, but I would go to the bench in the courtyard and try to enjoy the sun.
Soaking up that vitamin d my body so depserately needs.
My friend walked over to me the other day and said come sit with us, and I told him I cant stand the cigerette smoke, he said..."You sure love that sun dont ya Val"?... and I said "Yes, I love it and want more of it"!!
Yesterday, the day the trial was wrapping up...was another beautiful day....we were sitting inside the hallway of the courthouse and it was hot, the sun was beaming thru the window and I was sitting directly in its light.
He got up and moved to a shadier chair because he had on dress shirt and tie...I said I love this sun....
He was just so content and seemed more relaxed than I had seen him in awhile...
He said "Its gonna be a beautiful summer, try to enjoy it".....
Those words will stay with me thru every hot day.
Every hot car ride I have to endure in my non air conditioned car....
Every time I hear myself beginning to complain about the heat....I will remember he is sitting in a stuffy hot jail cell with all these other convicted felons and he would love to be on the riverbank, fishing pole in hand....shorts and bandanna on.
He is the most cheerful, upbeat man I know.
Takes life in stride.
Why this horrible event happened to him is beyond me.
But its another turning point, a lesson learned in time.
And if he were able, he would be outside, mowing his yard or working on his camper or riding his Harley.
Fishing or just sitting in his pontoon.
So, this is going to be my summer of freedom.
I am going to enjoy my life.
Not sit and worry about how I am going to pay a bill or what I am going to fix for dinner or what I am going to do Saturday night.
I am just going to enjoy being free to do nothing.
And I am going to get back to my exercise, because my friend would want me to to.
He was one of my biggest supporters and came and walked with me and I think mostly he just wanted to talk but he was there.
He always drove around the track to see if I was there walking.
I feel content this morning. I feel like he is at peace and he is resting easy. I can just feel it and I know that his sentence will be light and he will be home before we have time to miss him. Freedom, it really isnt just another word for nothing left to lose. Freedom has come to mean so much more to me and I know I want to be free, not just free as a citizen, but free in my own mind and body!!!
I want to continue to lose weight and get healthy and be free of the fear of getting sick, and to free my self esteem and feel good and free to not feel like everyone is staring at me in a bad way....these are freedoms we dont think about...but I am now...I am glad to be free to eat healthy and work out and drink my water and lose weight and have access to the great outdoors and hiking trails and take advantage of every chance.
Today I am going to just relax at home and not do much of anything but sit on my porch in the sun and even enjoy the wind and rain....
SM at the river in happier times!!