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Working out is going to save my marriage

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Okay, I'm exaggerating A LITTLE. No, it's not because my husband has lost his attraction to me. My marriage is not "in trouble" really. Not the way people mean when they say their marriage is "in trouble."

But working out is still going to save us - because he's driving me up a d@mn wall! He has anxiety issues, totally undiagnosed and undealt with, so the only way he knows to "deal" with them is to obsess about things, ask me a million questions, then either refuse to believe the answers or accuse me of not knowing what I'm talking about.

Then he stays awake all night obsessing over nothing and pounces on me at 6am to pronounce his doom and gloom predictions for our life that he has been obsessing about all night.


So this morning, I was just like "... okay, well, I'm going swimming." I was frustrated and annoyed and mad, but swimming made me feel better AND gave me quiet time to process everything. Plus gave him time to do normal things like get up and shower, and that plus daylight helped him shake the All Night Insanity thing that he does, and time to calm down. I can't make him calm down, I should know this by now, so the best thing I can do is go away and make myself feel better.

So we had a normal, non-fight conversation when I got back, and that is way better than both of us getting more and more stressed and not communicating.

As long as I keep working out we might actually be able to buy a house without killing each other. hahahaha.

Update: Thank you to those who left nice comments. I appreciate it. I work hard at thoughtful, non-confrontational communication in my relationship. Exercise helps me also be calmer and have better moods. That is all I was trying to say, in what I thought was an amusing sort of way.

Those who left (deleted!) comments to the effect that my marriage needs help or I should take a good look at myself? Your comments are not welcome. Obviously you did not read the bottom of the post where I say we had a good talk, or maybe your reading comprehension is not so great. Either way, you don't know me. On your merry way.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Great blog! I seriously love your last paragraph. I delete rude comments too and totally admire your pluck for going back and saying something to people who seem to enjoy showing their ugly side by spraying their negativity all over other people's blogs. We're here to support each other and build each other up...not tear each other down. You said it so well! Glad you're getting some great work outs in and helping resolve conflict at the same time...great multitasking! emoticon
    1627 days ago
    No advice. just glad things got better.
    1627 days ago
    Ah, how stressful! Makes me relieved that my husband blank stares and nothing happens in his head at all while he's doing it... When I ask him "Whatcha thinkin' about?" he honestly says "Nothing." And I know he means it... sorta scary but... I'm enough thinking for the both of us! ;)
    1629 days ago
    This is why Hubs is currently on the road and I am home raising the teen eating machine and the rat dog.

    If I had that much more testosterone in this house? All day every day? Let's just say it wouldn't be pretty and my online time would be restricted by the warden...

    It is really good that you have a healthy way to deal with it. I am oh, so proud of you!
    emoticon emoticon

    Ps, benadryl may help get him to sleep and it won't hurt him. emoticon emoticon just a thought before sleep deprivation sets in and compounds things.
    1629 days ago
    Good for you! You're taking positive steps rather than getting sucked into a no-win cycle. Keep up the good work!
    1629 days ago
    It certainly can't hurt! Good for you for taking care of you. We wives, tend to put everyone before ourselves and that doesn't do anyone any good. Keep it up and good luck!
    1629 days ago
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