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    FIREFLY413   2,912
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2,500-3,999 SparkPoints
 
 

A little honesty


Thursday, April 11, 2013

Bleaaahhhhh. Coming at you in the middle of a free-for-all eating week! Iím still tracking every single calorie, which is new behavior for me, so I take good credit for that. But between PMS (sorry if any men happen to read this) and birthday week (Saturday, woot!), I just canít seem to make myself get in the weight loss zone. Havenít worked out since Sunday morning, and tonight and tomorrow are blocked for dinners with friends. Obviously I could carve out some time, but Iím just not. And the eating, yikes. I havenít exactly sat down with a full bag of Doritos, but Iím definitely not making healthy choices at my meals.

Do you ever just get tired of making fresh start after fresh start after fresh start after fresh start? Iíve lost 9.6 pounds since New Yearís Day. That averages about .68 pound per week. Now I KNOW that healthy lasting weight loss happens slowly. But, really? Weíre halfway through April and I havenít hit 10 pounds? Oh wait, I have. Twice. And then gained back down. In fact, Iíve alternated between gaining/losing every single week for nearly two months. It just gets old. I keep waiting for my big ďClickĒ moment where I keep going the right way. You read SP success stories of people who just kept going, going, going and theyíre on some whole other level. My best friend started a fresh journey on New Yearís Day as well, and sheís down 34 pounds and planning to run a mini-marathon.

I KNOW that comparison is a bad idea. Iím not even comparing myself to my BFF or those other SP success stories, because I accept the fact that theyíve all just flat-out been putting in more effort than me. Itís that motivation thing again. How do you sustain that over time? I KNOW that no one is perfect, and that successful people still have dips, low points, gains, binges along the way. But. . . every other week? Sometimes every other day? Thatís me. Successful people are like ďI saw that picture of me putting my son on the bus and realized that fat person wasnít meĒ or ďI heard my doctor say I was headed for diabetes and that was just itĒ and from that point forward, they just had drive and determination to spare. Iíve had a million moments like that and get fired up, then a few days later itís like ďEhĒ. Am I really the only person who struggles with this?

It just gets exhausting doing the cheerleading thing time after time. I get in a good groove, my motivation is up, I announce ďIím going to do XYZ and Iím going to get RESULTS!Ē And I absolutely mean it. And I have a loss. Then the next week (or next day), I announce ďYum, a Blizzard sounds good!Ē and the weight loss gets shelved until I feel that motivation again. And again, I KNOW that itís not going to be perfect. There are going to be bumps, and that eating a Blizzard is okay and not a reason to derail my success, blah blah blah. All Iím asking is for maybe an 80/20 ďgood/badĒ ratio as opposed to literally 50/50?

The good part is that I DO keep making those fresh starts. Over and over and over. And as exhausting and embarrassing as it is, I keep trying even after so many mini-failures. Overall my attitude is good. Itís just that usually the only time I share with the WL community is when Iím in that cheerleader mode, so I thought I should start sharing during my ďI donít careĒ mode too. Maybe thatís one of the secrets to getting that ratio a little closer to where I want it to be.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SANDY1969 4/12/2013 11:31AM

    I never had a moment where I saw a pic of me and said THATS IT. Probably because every since I could remember Ive been the fattest one. I got an exercise bike from my husband at a moment where I had a passing thought that maybe I should do this. It sat there for a YEAR. A whole year before I got on it one day.

It was really a combination of things that finally pushed me to TRY. Trying is really all you can do every day. There was the death of my mom, my birthday, wanting to do more things that I couldn't do because I was too big. I basically had to give myself a pep talk. I had to FIND inspiration, because just looking at myself in a mirror or a picture isn't enough.

I was ok for a year and then pffffft. I don't know what happened. I reached a weight that I felt thin at, which is crazy because I was still over 300 pounds. I could find clothes in stores that fit again, even if they weren't the greatest or super cute, at least they were an option.

2 years go by and nothing...oh wait, a 25-30 gain is not nothing is it? SO here I am, trying again just like you. My advice to you is to become as active in sparkpeople as you can. Logging, blogging...being accountable helps you strive to at least outdo yourself and your previous successes. You CAN do this, even without an ah-ha moment. Someday you'll have one, even if it isn't about the pounds.

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NEWSGIRL2177 4/11/2013 1:02PM

    I think a lot of people can relate to this. I know I can. It's tough to keep your head up and move forward when progress is slow. I recently went through my own period of searching for motivation and just not doing what I know I should be doing. I chose to look at it logically, without emotion attached to it, which is hard! I would work out once a week and then consciously not work out the rest of the time. It was my choice every time. I would decide in the moment that working out was not a priority, and I had to either be OK with it or do something to change it. And it took awhile to change my attitude.

Now I'm working out 4 days a week and pretty hard, too. But I don't feel like I'm motivated to do it. It's more like I've committed to doing a bootcamp 3 days a week, so I have to do that. And I like getting outside on the weekends, so I do another day for sure. Anything more at this point is bonus time! I treat these workouts like appointments or almost like going to work. It's something I have to do, so I just do it.

In the past, I've been a big fan of streaks here on SP. I think they're helpful. I created a couple of my own streaks, and tracking those every day helped me build consistency. I needed every little trick I could think of! Also, not every workout needs to be a big production. I don't know what you like to do for fitness, but I think finding something that excites you or makes you happy or feels good is the way to go. Even 10 minutes on a day when you really don't want to do it can give you a little mood boost.

Hang in there and keep pushing!

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FIREFLY413 4/11/2013 12:37PM

    Thanks, guys! Just hearing that other people go through the exact same thing is an enormous help.

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50SGRANNY 4/11/2013 10:26AM

    I could be writing this! To answer your question, yes, I do get tired of making fresh start after fresh start. So tired of it, in fact, that this time around I just completely reset everything so that I could start tracking and working on fitness again with a clean slate. I don't recommend this, but it was what I felt I needed to do at the time.

Now that I've got my clean slate to work with, I'm finding that my key to motivation is to keep challenging myself. When I climbed back onto this fitness wagon in February of this year, I couldn't even complete the warm-up segment of a workout video I wanted to try. Well, that part was obvious, it's unacceptable to be THAT out of shape; so I just put that same video in the next day, and the next, until I could do it. That motivated me to push harder and keep going until I could complete that video. I realized that I was growing stronger - which also motivated me, and I added strength training to my workout regime. I won't go on and on here, but every time I succeeded, or grew stronger, or became more capable it just motivated me to push myself harder and harder. Now I don't even need to look for motivation, I just turn to my next challenge to motivate me!

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FUNLOVEN 4/11/2013 10:21AM

    OMG ! Thank you for writing this blog. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about and feel the same way many times. I am very active socially and horrible at resisting those temptations. As a matter of fact, I just e-mailed a Spark Coach about the very thing you just blogged about - a bad diet w/e. I think the thing that keeps me going is keeping in touch with my Spark friends on a daily basis. We need that support team. Not working gives me the advantage of being able to check in with Spark whenever and for as long as I want (some mornings I spend 2 hours or more reading blogs, articles, watching exercise videos, etc.). I know not everyone has that kind of time. But I think of us as a team and want you to know we are there for you through good and bad times. Vent on girl ! emoticon

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