Wednesday, April 10, 2013
One setback should not derail me or erase all of the hard work I do during my workout. I know this. I hear the words in my head, understand them ... and then ignore them.
This morning, one of the first exercises we did in class was to jump with both feet onto a gymnastics landing mat. This big cushy mat is only 8 inches high. I really dislike jumping (it's hard! and it makes me tired immediately!), so I know it's something I need to work on consistently so I can improve. I've been jumping rope more often (but not regularly) and we do jump squats all the time, but this is different. This is jumping from the floor onto another object.
I know box jumps are in my future. And that scares me! I know that this simple exercise is training for that bigger and better exercise down the road. So logically I know that I need to START with things like this to get there. But in the moment, when I'm trying to jump onto this mat and I fall over onto all fours instead, over and over, it's tough to remember that. I saw some of the other girls struggle with this, too, so I know it's not easy. And I don't expect that I will do everything right the first time. I'm all for learning from my mistakes. It's the *feeling* of failure I don't like.
This ties in with my goal of being nicer to myself. When I feel crappy like this, I usually let it snowball into a giant mess of negativity aimed right at myself. But that doesn't do me any good. It doesn't help me in any way! It throws me off track, distracts me from what's coming, and takes up way too much of my time. I have stuff to do!
Also, lately I've been mentally erasing all of the work I do in Kaia classes - and that needs to stop! The exercises we do are designed for high reps in a couple of minutes before moving on to the next set or round. I can go hard for 45 seconds, but if I get tired, I will march in place for seriously like 1-2 seconds and then jump back in. But at the end of the workout, I basically tell myself that I didn't really do the exercise. It didn't count because I had to stop or slow down or just do the squats but not the arms for a couple of reps. Sometimes I go home and repeat some of the ones I missed to make up for the few seconds I missed in class. Anyway, It's really not fair to myself to think that way. I want to get better so that I don't have to rest during a set, and I think I will. But discounting all of my work is not going to help me get there.
So, instead of focusing on my inability to jump onto this mat, I'll focus on the good things I did during my workout instead. Like grabbing a heavier medicine ball during an exercise. And making my weighted squats tougher when the deadlifts were hurting my back. And keeping my feet moving even when the rest of me wanted to drop!