Wednesday, April 10, 2013
At the behest of Para and Irish, I'm going to disclose what I was thinking about doing for my experiment.
But first, a bit about why I decided NOT to do it.
Bottom line, it just wasn't practical and I simply couldn't imagine actually following through with it. So why take on an experiment you don't think you'll complete? That's just setting yourself up for failure and negative feelings toward yourself.
Also, I couldn't learn enough about what I wanted to do to feel it was truly "safe and effective".
AND, I believe it would have been a slippery slope FOR ME. I believe it would have fed into negative aspects of my personality. I would have had to tap into obsessive thinking patterns that are just ugly and never work out right.
Last, I realized I had just been swept up in the "ooh, shiny!" aspect of it. You know, when you see something on t.v. (in the words of Homer Simpson, "friend, mother, secret lover") and all the sudden you're all "I WANT TO DO THAT!". But not in a good way (as I noted above) but more in a "this could be a loophole so I can lose weight fast without having to work at it". See, that's not good thinking RIGHT THERE and I hadn't even researched the potential experiment very much at all.
But I ramble.
What had me all in a lather?
YES, I saw that damn show on PBS and I got (momentarily) all sucked in. Oh, you only have to go two days a week at 500 calories each day and then you can "eat whatever you want" the other 5 days. HOLY COW! This will be THE MAGIC FAT ERASER!!
Uh, huh. Sure it won't.
I looked into it a bit more and honestly it just didn't make practical sense. And we all know there is no such thing as "eat whatever you want" (meaning "junk") and still losing weight. Those two things are exact opposite. You can not hog down on candy and not expect to remain a fatty (or get even fatter--god forbid!).
And really, at the point I'm at now, floundering like a mofo with my nutrition, I know darn good and well what the problem is.
I'm floundering with my nutrition. DUH!
So having two "starvation" (face it, that's what it would feel like) days a week isn't going to fix the root problem which is uncontrolled eating. If for some reason I could actually do a 500 calorie day (really, I don't think I'd be able to do it unless someone offered me prize money) I'd just gobble up any calorie deficit on the "free" days. Yeah, I'd try to tell myself I'd "eat good" on the off days but I know I'd just eat like I currently am (too much and less than stellar items) and I'd be in the exact same place I am now (frustrated) but with the added bonus of having irked my spouse (because I'm grumpy as hell when I'm hungry).
Also (and this plays into the negative thinking/emotions thing) when I first thought I'd try out this "method" (for lack of a better word) my first thought was, "My spouse is going to mock this." Now don't take that the wrong way, my spouse isn't a mean guy. But if I'm doing something dumb he's going to tell me. And he knows my personality. AND, he watched the same show I did. So if I started doing the IF "method" he'd give me a big ole eye roll and chalk it up to my being easily influenced by t.v. (which is true). I didn't want HIM to be the one to point that out to me.
So, I sat on the idea (one that I knew deep down was wacky and I'd not do) and saved myself a bit of embarrassment and decided NOT to try it out.
Would I have damaged myself by trying it (for say, 30 days). Probably not. Is it a practical way of life FOR ME. No. Do I know what my "problem" is (and how to remedy it)? Of course I do. But right now I'm having some kind of stubborn phase or something and I just can't work it out.
Wait. I can work it out. By working out.
Instead of doing something wacky like IF (again, wacky FOR ME) why not make myself a REAL CHALLENGE. Something I feel is possible for me yet still challenging AND interesting.
My new challenge to myself for now until I go on vacation at the end of May?
CHALLENGE (April and May)
1. Max out that exercise!! That means 2x week yoga, 2x week ST, and MAX walking. As long as the weather permits (no percipitation at time of walk, weather above 30 degrees) I need to walk to and from work. That's 2 hours of walking a day (8 miles). Weekends will be for making up any yoga or ST I missed or they will be. . .wait for it. . .REST.
2. Stay in ranges. I know this one is hard for me so I'm not going to set any "x day in ranges" goals. Just a simple adding up how many days I managed it and REALLY TRYING. There is only ONE restriction on my eating. . .
3. NO POP. I'm starting my Pop Free Streak again. It's how I broke my pop habit (to begin with) and now that I've been backsliding (not to "old" ways, but just too fast and loose) I need to reign that back in. There is NOTHING good in pop. It's just pure empty calories. There is no reason to consume it. Plain and simple.
The best part is, I like walking. It gives me time for brain chatter (yes, I carry on conversations with myself in my head--ok, even outloud a tiny bit now and then). I'm already thinking about mixing up my route, too. I just need to make sure any new routes are doable (won't have me ending up as roadkill) and are long enough (4 miles approximately).
And just for the record, I am aiming for weight loss but I'm really trying not to get hyper focused on JUST the weight loss. So I'm using my clothing as the real measuring tool. I'm porked up a bit and there are a few pairs of pants and shorts that I can't squeeze into right now. Ok, I could squeeze into them but no one wants to see that. I want to get my wardrobe back. I refuse to buy any new clothes for the flabby lazy body I have right now. I don't NEED new things. I need to fit the things I have.
Ok, now I have to check the weather and see if I can get my second walk in today.