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Like a fistfight

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

I feel like I'm battling with myself every day.

As I mentioned in my last blog I didn't have a very good week last week, both fitness and food-wise. And then I realized what I thought was positive thinking ("I can do better next week", "I can only go up from now") is actually me not caring at all.

I hopped on the scale Tuesday morning thinking I wouldn't have lost a thing. Well I didn't lose a pound. Nope, I gained 2 pounds in 2 weeks. And it hit me pretty damn bad.

It's like I'm well aware of my actions, but when it comes to the results I'm always surprised. But it's pretty mathematical: 0 exercise + 7 days of junk food + way too much alcohol = weight gain.

I didn't feel very good yesterday, but at least I felt motivated to cook back home. I've felt very lazy about it for a few months now, prefering restaurant and pre-made meals at the grocery store. So I made spicy dal with saag and it was delicious.

But then my mood started going down and down, I wanted to take a walk but I was too lazy for it, and I had a bad conversation with the boyfriend on Facebook. I also felt sick and around 8 I started shivering uncontrollably. I wanted to go to bed early - at 9:15 I was laying down under multiple blankets - but I read until almost 11 PM.

I woke up feeling horrible. My throat is really sore and very swollen. I decided to call in sick. I was only up for an hour this morning - I spent it reading in the armchair under the sun - then I went back to bed and slept until my boyfriend arrived here for his lunch break at 12:30. I was feeling even worse. I slept a total of almost 10 hours.

Now after a good meal and lots of water I feel somewhat better. Yesterday night I started the list of goals I was talking about in my previous article. I almost have a whole page. I plan on printing it and keeping it around, and maybe making some kind of inspirational quilt pic with an image for each goal.

It's gorgeous outside and I think I should take a short walk to at least help my health and move my body a little. For supper I'm making vegan mushroom cream, it's a new recipe I wanna try. I also think I'm gonna start the thing that seems to be working with a lot of people, aka following your goals 6 days a week and having one "cheat" day. Because I indulge myself with treats way too often: chips, chocolate, restaurants. And tonight I'm having a good talk with the boyfriend about my weight loss and I'll ask him to stop tempting me with said treats, LOL. He's often the one to bring home chips or to ask me to go out to eat. Not putting the fault on him - I should be the one refusing, and I sometimes do - but without the temptation it's way easier to resist, right? ;P
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sounds like things have been rough for you lately. Hope you get to feeling better. emoticon
    1807 days ago
    It's seems that things are finally falling back into place. I guess sometimes things just go off kilter from time to time. It let's us know how good it feels once we get back on track. People that love you and have your best intentions at heart are willing to help though sometimes I think those closest to us accidentally lead us the wrong way without even thinking or noticing. emoticon
    1807 days ago
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