Tuesday, April 09, 2013
One thing I've learned since starting my journey is how engrained we are as a society with labels. Even as lifestyle changers i.e. dieters we stick with certain labels. Thankfully better ones but still. We even push ourselves to read other labels. With the exception of nutritional labels, do these labels even mean the same to everyone? The ones that always boggle my mind were pretty, beautiful, attractive, etc...Lately with the lose of inches I've noticed I'm getting hit on a lot more. Sadly these are people that saw me everyday when i weighed 162 but now that my waist and hips are not as wide or flabby as they once were....I don't know.
This is where the numbers part of my title comes in. What is it with our fascination with numbers? I have noticed I am even affected by the numbers. A month showing back and forth 143 and 148 is quite frustrating. I could have sworn I was back to being the size I was at 162. In my mind 148=162. Funny those two numbers look remarkably different but felt like twins. As usual I huff and puff off the scale, refuse to track it since it will look like SP isn't working for me. But then the other day I was browsing faux leather jackets for my vacation next month (hey I have to look/feel hot while clinging for dear life on the back of a Harley). A lot of the jackets thankfully gave the measurements "needed" to fit into whatever size. I knew I was thankfully out of XL range (except for an absurdly skinny company who shall remain nameless). So I took the handy paper SP measuring tape and measured. Turns out a few new numbers surprised me. Not only had my waist stayed the same for the most part but my hips had dropped! Last I had measured my hips they were around 40 inches. This week 36.5. I didn't even notice it! Right now I am only because of sitting a pocket of skin where there was fat where my thigh and pelvis areas connect.
Getting back to the point...another simple number just as simple as the first one changed my mood entirely. However, before I weighed myself as saw that hateful 148 again I felt great. Full of energy and life, ready to take on the world. But I let that number affect me, big. But why did it feel so bad? Normal people would see that number and remember hey that's 16 lbs from where I started! Woo! Keeping it off! Me? I felt defeat and even a little hopeless. Why is it we (i) let such a little thing control us so much?
I think my main goal this entire journey has been to change my label, because no matter what we are going to label. I was tired of labelling myself the weak little sister or the chubby girl. What I want my new labels to be yet I'm not sure but I'm working on it. As far as the numbers go, for right now I'm still weighing myself and then sticking my tongue out at the scale. Then I tell the scale I am better than it. Good mood sustained. I am measuring my journey on how I feel. Right now I feel 300% better than I ever did at 162. When I feel like 148=162 I just remember where I've come from. Three years ago I wouldn't even wear a swimsuit, now I own 3 bikinis...enough said.
If I can motivate or teach anyone anything from this journey it would be to ignore the numbers things give you. You know when you feel better or when you just accomplished something you previously couldn't do.