i just need a plan...and a kick in the pants!!!!
Tuesday, April 09, 2013
Actually complained a little about the heat today...but not too much, and only to myself. lol
Well, the trial continued today...and the morning half seemed to go in favor of the defense, but the afternoon was worrisome.
I guess another long day tomorrow.
But, my friend is in good spirits and I got to enjoy sitting outside in the sunlight today for almost an hour.
I go back to the doctor on Friday, and I am just so so so hoping for good news.
I hope my vitamin d is up and I hope the bone is beginning to finally heal.
I really do not want to have surgery...I just want to walk again.
NO, I NEED to walk again.
I am feeling like I am really getting too far away from it.
I miss it, but I am falling back into bad habits and no matter what I try to do, I just cannot make myself want to or like other forms of exercise enough to really feel like I am making a difference.
I am not going to weigh this week...and maybe, well most likely, I will see bad results next week...but, I am ready to get back to it, I just really need to get this week over with...
If my friend is acquitted, I will feel like we can all move on with whats next.
And I can breathe easier and get on with whatever the future holds for me....and maybe get a part time job to give me something to busy myself...and get back to walking, once the doctor finally gives me the thumbs up.
If I do have to have surgery....I fear my depression will overwhelm me and that I will get so far away from walking and so much back into bad habits that I will really do some major damage to my weight loss.
I have gained back 5 pounds and I vowed this morning that was it, that was ENOUGH!!!!
I do not want to gain another pound....I cant afford to, I know how hard it is to lose it.
So, what can I do????
I cant decide which plan will be best for me to jump start again...weight watchers or what???
I know what worked for me before...and try as I might, I cant seem to get back there....its mostly the lack of daily walking that has taken my mind away from healthier eating...
Gosh I am just so sick of feeling this down in a rut!!!!
I have to climb out and soon....
So, Friday isnt that far away, once the doctor gives me the news, be it good or bad, I will know where to go from there....
So, I am just really hoping for sunlight again tomorrow.
And good outcomes for my friend and for myself.