Tuesday, April 09, 2013
I have learned so much from Sparks in the time I have been here, but I have also become 'obsessed' with Sparks: the points, the tracking, the posting, and reading everything I can in any spare moment I have.
Unfortunately, I have a perfectionist streak! If I do something I jump in both feet and do it with gusto. So ... I need to learn moderation. Since learning of my health complications a year ago, I have been obsessed and determined to "get healthy". I've made my life "busy", but not enjoyable. Life is streaking by and I'm not any healthier mentally (or physically).
Yes, the Spark tools are awesome. But everything should be in moderation. What good is a tool if it becomes an 'idol' in your life where it must be accessed and logged and read and involved in your every thought. It is not healthy. And that is what I have done. I continue to stress my body by doing this, which is the whole reason I gained weight! My stress levels at work were so out of control that I had to leave the "employment" world. The only thing I have done is exchanged work stress for calorie-count stress.
It's like owning a car. It's a useful thing to have, to drive and use, but if I'm polishing the shine out of it everyday, I'll soon not be driving the wonderful piece of equipment I have. I'll be too obsessively 'busy'! I've done the same with Sparks ... polishing all my points and calories, but missing the blessing of it's guidelines. And that's what they are ... guidelines. Learn from them. Incorporate them. But do not obsess about them!
Because I have become rather unbalanced and stressed about EVERYTHING I put in my mouth or EXACTLY how many steps or minutes I have done to burn calories, I will be more absent from Sparks. I'm taking a bit of a Sabbatical.
I still plan to eat well and exercise, but for the sake of living and enjoying my life. This body ... vehicle for my life will get "good fuel' and "regular maintenance". But I will enjoy the ride. I will relax and love myself a little more. I plan to park the car for a while, and enjoy the views of my wonderful life.