Monday, April 08, 2013
I have an appointment next Monday to get my eyes checked. It is LONG overdue, a part of getting myself in order that I have been dedicated to doing. This will mean that I will be getting a new prescription, of course, my eyes have REALLY changed since the last time they were checked!
Now...I have been trying to figure out why this has been making me so uncomfortable. I have been told by a number of people close to me that when I get said new glasses that I should get smaller frames, that the ones I have chosen before have been larger than they should be for the shape of my face. A friend of mine wants to go with me to help me, and it has my stomach in knots even thinking about it.
I think I have it figured out, but this is going to sound really wierd.
But this is me we're talkin' about here, so wierd is not so strange. I don't want smaller frames because I have used them in the past to hide behind. Hiding is what I do. At least it is what I have done for a very long time. And it was just another way to put myself "behind" something and not allow others inside. So that explains the butterflies every time I think about wearing a pair of eyeglasses that allow my face to be seen more, for people to see ME more.
I sure wish I could talk to my therapist about this, to see if I'm workin' something out here or if I'm just out of my ever lovin' mind. Oh well, I have my friends here. And I can ask for input, because that is also part of my getting better. Asking for help.
So what I will do is go to my appointment, get my new prescription and allow Donna to help me make the next step in my journey to being a healthy, happy human woman. And NOT let the nerves send me into a tailspin.
I CAN do this.