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    LIVINGDEAD_GIRL   62,014
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Day 1; New Beginnings


Monday, April 08, 2013

Ok I have seen other people doing this and well it seems like a good idea. I'm going to try to do a daily blog about this journey of weight loss. I have failed so many times before, and even if I fail again I am hoping that looking back at these blogs will give me the self motivation to get back on and not shove everything under the rug.


TO SENSA OR NOT?
So about a few months ago my Mom bought Sensa to try out but after discovering the hidden charge and that you have to take pills, one pill lowering cortisol, she deemed it was unsafe for her and put it away in the pantry. (Unsafe because she was diagnosed with a rare disease, Cushing's, and the final treatment for it was the removal of her adrenal glands. So now she is on steroids to replace everything the adrenal glands provide for the human body, including cortisol.)

Anywho when I was just a few pounds away from my mother's heaviest weight (ie from Cushing's) of 330 I felt drastic measures needed to be taken. Now I am not a person who believes all the hype of weight loss pills or shakes, in fact I usually roll my eyes and make fun of those commercials but I felt so desperate that I started using Mom's Sensa, with permission of course.

Around that same time we also have stopped going out to eat, I got approved for food stamps and have started my goal of eating all natural foods and attempting to go flexitarian.
I have lost weight, so is it from the change in my diet or the Sensa? Now I have been taking the pills everyday, 3 of them are vitamins and minerals and the 4th one being a thermogenic supplement that lowers cortisol, but I keep on forgetting on using that sprinkle stuff you see in the commercials. Probably that gets used 3-4 times out of 10.

Today will be the first day I will not be using Sensa, I want to find out what has been the cause of this weight loss. Also I got in to see a Dr at my county's health dept clinic and asking about my chances to development Cushing's since Mom had it, she decided to test me for it. I had to make an appt for the lab and the closest one I could get was May 13. I'm concerned that what if I do have Cushing's and that one pill masks it because it may be lowering my cortisol level? Well that's not good and I don't need that. It would be nice if someone could explain my weight, but I really truly hope it's not Cushing's. Its a rare disease on the rise and there are only a few places in the US that specialize in its treatment, and I am NOT in one of them. (I will have to write a blog on Cushing's later on.)

Also I have not been exercising at all, well besides the times I take my furbaby Hally out for her potty walks since we have no yard. We live in a HOA subdiversion that is all too common for central Florida where no one has ever heard of having a yard to play in or let dogs run around in, it sucks. I miss having a back yard! There is a community club house with a 'pool' and movie theater and make shift gym and I have really never been to except for taking my nephew to the pool. My plan today is to try to get there and start using the elliptical machine, I am just so self conscious and fear the mockery that part of me knows won't happen but the other part of me is hearing already in my head.

So I am going to try to brave the gym, the pool I will have to make that into a 'weight loss' goal. I don't like how I look in my bathing suit, and it is a little small on me and don't want to go out in public with it. And in all honesty the public pool really isn't a pool in my eyes, its only 5 feet deep at its deepest depths and not all that big, well not for swimming laps or anything like that. And it is nowhere near the size of the pool I had in my house I grew up in, back up in Massachusetts where there are no such things as subdivisions! But I guess the community pool is better than the bath tub pools the houses have down here.

Sighs I really miss my 40x20 foot 10-12 foot deep swimming pool. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
INFINITELEIGH 4/20/2013 2:50PM

    Congrats for starting again. I have just this week come back top 'start over' too. I have about 90 pounds to lose.
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