Monday, April 08, 2013
A few weeks ago, my fiance's brother made a comment to me that I can't seem to shake.
" You guys have a lot of sh#t."
Its a simple comment and one that other people could ignore or laugh off. But this comment bothered me so deeply that lately I have been on an extreme clean kick. I have been donating and throwing out things throughout my hosue. My fiance can't understand why I am acting like this over a small comment.
Have you even watched the show "Hoarders"? Yeah.. lets just say that I grew up in that kind of enviroment. Its a problem that my family is still dealing with emotionally and physically. It has effected in crazy ways even as an adult.
When I was little, I rememeber the stress that company at the house brought. My Mom yelling and threatening to throw out our stuff. The presure to make everything looking perfect and neat. The way my Mom would stress out, cry and freak out.
Unlike most families, the idea of someone coming by unexpectedly would immediatly cause stress throughout the family. I couldn't have friends over without giving a 3 week notice, I didn't have sleepovers at my house and I couldn't even tell them why due to embarresment.
I am not sure who the problem lies with. My Mom is the major blame for most of the items in the house. Even now, she has at least 100 childrens books in the living room for people to read. Yet, there is no childred in the house. I tell her to get rid of them and she says that my Brother (29yrs old) enjoys reading them. Not likely. My Dad calls my mother a hoarder which isn't fair. His idea of cleaning is to throw everything in a box and "go through it later". He also feels the need to record and make DVD's of every show he likes. Yet he never watches them.
My brother and sister have also developed this behavior. My brother, who is special needs, finds a reason why anything can't be thrown out. He associated a memory or finds that teddy bear to cute to destroy. My sister is also like that. She also feels that everything can be sold or should be held onto for the memories. For example: I went over my families house a few months ago. My Mom found this old cigar box that I painted and put stickers on. It was broken and dirty. I told my mom to toss it but my sister took it. She said she remembers me using it as a kid. It has a story. A memory.
I can't say I have escaped this problem either. I tend to collect strange and unusual things. The house seems to always cluttered and dishes always seem to be sitting at the sink dirty. Whenever my fiance tells me his Dad or brother are coming over, I go into clean mode. I rush around the house dusting, vaccumming and getting the dishes done. Yet when my fiannce's Dad (who can be a real jerk) makes a snide comment. My stomach turns. Then I go into a whole throwing away binge. Its stressful for both myself fiance.
With this all being said, I am trying so hard not to end up like my family. I try not to keep items that don't mean anything to me. To throw clothes away that don't fit. It feels good to write about it. Never really went into it with anyone besides my fiance (who still can't comprehend it). I stress about what is going to happen when my parents can't live there. The idea of cleaning the house is heavy in my mind because I know I am going to be the one who does the work.
I would find it very helpful if anyone else has this issue. How did you deal with it? Are you still dealing with it?