Monday, April 08, 2013
In my line of work, and for that matter in many creative endeavors, there is the concept of "regression testing". The concept is simple: when you make changes to a complex system, you need to test to make sure the addition of "new" hasn't broken something that it already did and you didn't mean to change... the unintended consequences.
Sometimes that happens in our "program life". We add a new element. We reach for another goal. We try something more. OR, as many of us describe "life happens"... something unrelated to our Spark program intervenes.
Sometimes I think I can do it all... only to find out I can't. And once again I find myself adjusting, trying to find the balance. A week ago I wrote this really positive "April should be better" blog. And then my week unraveled... the food program stayed together through about ... Thursday... on auto pilot. Then I had some kind of digestive something on Friday and I got really mentally regressive over the weekend.
I somehow managed to keep myself from purchasing a bunch of really potentially damaging substances at the grocery store... and yet... did not have the best of weekends. Spent it inactive, except for one small adventure raking in the yard and doing the laundry.
Today... back to work. Put one foot in front of the other. And try to remember what works and what doesn't. Doing what I can works. Resenting that I have to do it doesn't. Trying to do more than I can doesn't. Beating myself up for "failing" to do it all, doesn't.
So... back to a bit of self-kindness... while I continue to try to figure out what's most important just for today.