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A Sobering Reminder...

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Sunday, April 07, 2013

I don't want to "milk" my before pics to try to get a reaction, I am posting these for ME. My wife was cruising through the kids computer (which used to be mine) and there were some pics on there that was downloaded from a birthday party and a vacation about 6 or so years ago. I never exported these to my new system and usually pics like these never made it to the computer because they revealed ugliness so they got deleted.

That is a shame because there is a pic that has a totally beautiful shot of me and my daughters playing in the water and I was basically a horse and my youngest was riding me... giddy up dad...

How many memories have I deleted because of my shame and disgust in my appearance?

I would urge you to not do this... you will regret it later.

Many memories have hit the cyber trash can because I hated myself and what I looked like. Please do not do this to yourself and your family, those pics are a record of your life and I will never get those years back when they were little.

I'm glad these missed the "shredder"


I had so many mixed feelings looking at these.

1) Pride- look at what has happened over the last few years!..EPIC weight loss :)

2) Shame - I can't believe I looked like that all the time, even my hands had a double chin... I wore that gold 4X shirt all the time because it was among the few shirts in my closet that both fit and hid some of my more distasteful features.

3) Loss - How many memories have been lost forever because I hated what I looked like and pictures were deleted right on the camera after failing the personal scrutiny test.

4) Fondness - I had so much fun camping that week! I would love to go again.

Love yourself NOW, not 50 pounds from now. DO NOT hide from the camera or destroy those images from your past that can never be recaptured. Like the scale is only a number, a picture only captures what is there at that present moment, the image does not define YOU as a person.

Don't trash your memories.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    A great reminder, indeed. Thank you for sending me the link!
    1186 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1187 days ago
  • v DOTTY7267
    Wonderful blog.
    1194 days ago
    Great lesson here. I keep telling my daughters this when they want to delete pictures, or hate the way they look: some day you will look at this picture and love it. Sometimes it's because you wake up and realize you really did look good, sometimes it's because this is a moment you want to remember, no matter what you looked like. We deserve the good moments and the great memories, no matter what.
    1199 days ago
    Good one I know I am missing from a lot of pictures thankfully there are none with kids yet and there won't be those because that is part of the reason I am getting healthy. Thanks for sharing.
    1199 days ago
  • v FISHER011
    emoticon for sharing! You're an Inspiration!
    1200 days ago
    Please milk it all you want to--these Before and After photo blogs on SP are what keep me going. Thank you very much.
    1200 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/10/2013 1:39:55 PM
    What a great message and something everyone needs to hear. Thank you for that!
    1200 days ago
    Message received. I find myself doing that - deleting pictures with my baby if I don't pass my own scrutiny test.
    1201 days ago
    Wow, excellent point about photos and saving them and loving yourself now instead of 50 lbs from now.
    1201 days ago
  • v KAB7801
    1201 days ago
    I don't even know you, but couldn't help but grin when I saw your pics. So glad you inadvertently saved your water shot with your daughters. Pretty special! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1201 days ago
  • v PIXIEMOM13
    Great message and SOOOO true!
    I hid behind the camera and deleted or avoided my pictures being taken for many sad.

    Now even though I don't always like how I look in those pictures, I still take them. One day they will show my amazing progress (in addition to being attatched to some great memories)
    1201 days ago
    I too avoided the camera back then and there are few pictures of fat me. I hated myself and was so ashamed at what I had done to myself. What a joy it is to have some of my self esteem back and be proud of all the pictures with my beautiful grandchildren.
    1201 days ago
  • v CM_GARDNER78
    TOTALLY!! Fantastic reminder........and of course, you are absolutely correct! LOVE the pic of you with your girls...... :-)
    1201 days ago
    Totally agree with you. I also trashed just about every single picture of me from "the fat days" and now I have several years of memories missing :(
    1201 days ago
  • v LEWILL1982
    Great post, great reminders, thanks!
    1201 days ago
    Thank you! I have no pictoral records of a major part of my life because of this. I still don't take pictures even though I have reached goal weight, because of my nose and my hair and my cheeks... Thank you for reminding me.

    Btw, your daughters are adorable!

    1201 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/9/2013 10:05:59 AM
  • v LAURIE5658
    You RAWK!!!!!
    1201 days ago
    Well said, Spark Friend.
    1202 days ago
  • v MISSLISA1973
    You have a wonderful way of reminding us of the important things in life. Thank you.

    emoticon Lisa
    1202 days ago
    You have done an amazing job!

    1202 days ago
  • v CLASSOF92
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. You make excellent points. emoticon
    1202 days ago
    Great advice! Thanks for sharing!
    1202 days ago
    Thanks for the reminder. When I was at my heaviest, I hated pictures. Now, I don't mind them at all!
    1202 days ago
    Amen! Don't forget that even though YOU were disgusted with yourself at that size, your wife and kids still loved you!
    1202 days ago
  • v LINDAKAY228
    I have deleted pics a lot of time in the past also because of how I looked. I have a few but not many. It was brought home to me that I needed to keep what pics I have after my mother passed away and I was copying some pics for my brother and realized how few I had of her. She was also very overweight and hated her pic taken. I wish we had more of her now, and I don't want my kids to feel that way some day when I'm gone. Like you, how many memories have I deleted. I'm also usually the one taking the pics so its harder to get me in them but I'm working on getting someone sometimes to take pics of me. There have also been times when I've gone to places, like the Grand Canyon or other places, when I was taking pics and a stranger would ask if I wanted them to use my camera to take a pic of me in front of some place. I would always say no. I wish I would have had more of those done now for the memories. Great blog and great reminder.
    1202 days ago
    You are SO right! There is nothing like a photo to bring back a memory, and even if I hate them, I don't delete them. You have been on an AMAZING journey! I can see the joyous you with your kids - but the man you are today is stronger, healthier, and has a much better chance of getting to know his grandkids one day! And that, is the best reason for this journey! (even though I will never have them, I have great nieces and nephews that do it for me!)
    1202 days ago
  • v 4CYNDI
    Thanks for sharing your life, pain, victories and everything in between. Your willingness to share it all encourages me to keep moving. Thank you.
    1202 days ago
    You make a good point here, Robert!
    1202 days ago
    Great advice Robert!! I know there are lots of family pictures that I avoided being a part of, so you wouldn't have even known I was there!!.....moments that I can never get back:(
    1203 days ago
  • v 123ELAINE456
    This is a Great Message to Everyone. I have not taken any Pictures for 35-40 Years. And I Regret It Very Much. So take Pictures to Document Your Life Please for Your Family etc. My Family has all but forgetten Me. Very Sad Situation. So Please Don't Let it Happen to You and Make Yourself Count. Don't Trash Your Memories. Please Remember This for Your Sake. Very Inspiring. You are doing Fabulous. Keep Pushing Forward. God Blessings to Everyone. Have a Wonderful Weekend. Take Care.
    1203 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/8/2013 12:25:30 AM
  • v L1ZB3TH354
    So true. emoticon
    1203 days ago
    You expressed exactly how I feel and I did the same thing... deleted many precious memories. Just another important part of life that is robbed by obesity!
    1203 days ago
    What a great message. emoticon
    I can think of many pictures that should have had amazing memories attached, but I was too busy cringing because of the way I looked in them.

    I also have a ton of pictures that were of fantastic times with friends and family, but there's no evidence that I was even involved, because I made sure to hide behind the camera.

    Thank you for the reminder that we should cherish these photos, no matter what, because we LIVED these experiences. We were THERE with our loved ones. I'm sure my nieces and nephews won't look back at pictures and think, "Wow, TiTi looks terrible!" But they will think of things such as, "TiTi helped carry my bag while I hunted for Easter eggs!"

    Thank you for a very important message, my EPIC friend.
    1203 days ago
    You should be proud of what you have accomplished-including being a great Dad!! They will also look at those pictures and remember how much fun they had with their Dad!! emoticon
    1203 days ago
  • v BEECHNUT13
    Aw, that's the same Awesome Robert, whether he's in a 4X or not!
    1203 days ago
    No shredding here, I was one to never be in pictures.
    I regret it, I have a few with my kids but hardly a one with my Grandkids. They are all grown now and when I think back on all the adventures we had, with me not in a picture with them it makes me sad.

    Good blog, I hope many, many Sparkers see this!

    1203 days ago
  • v TIME-4-TINA
    First off, I love, love, love the pic of you and the kids in the water! You are so cute! Adorable smile!!

    Even though I have not been happy with the way I've looked in a long time, I have always loved getting in pictures. I became quite skilled at posing to make myself look more flattering. It was a gift. My friends would always complain, "oh well, of course Tina always looks good in the picture". Meanwhile I was the fattest one. It was a lot of work on my part thought. Exhausting. Making sure that I was in a certain spot, hand on hip, or posing with a kid in front of me, which I trademarked "hide the heavy". But at least I got in the pictures. I have a few friends who never want to be in a picture. They are always the photographers. There are tons of pictures of their families on facebook, but they are never in the pictures. I told them that one day they will regret it. I told them that when they are gone their children will have no pictures of them with their mother. Then of course, they come back to "well, we aren't photogenic like you". When we get together, I require that we get a picture together. We all have weight issues. You'd think I was sentencing them to the electric chair!! They get mad at me, but I don't care. We don't see each other often and I want a picture of us to commemorate the time we spent together. Hopefully, they will eventually get it.
    Meanwhile, now that I have lost 40 pounds I am not using the "hide the heavy" technique anymore. I can just stand there and smile!
    So, after making this long winded comment, I just want to say, I agree with you!
    1203 days ago
  • v COREY04
    I too was the one behind the camera. Now I look at the pictures I do have, and I think we were beautiful. I want to reach inside the pictures and hug my kids one more time as little kids. Always be proud of your memories and of who you are.
    1203 days ago
  • v BECCA315
    I have no pics to shred, as I refused to have any taken for 20+ years... most of my kids' childhoods. And yes, I regret it! Becca315
    1203 days ago
    I trashed a bunch of my photos because I hated them, so I can totally relate. I won't throw away anymore. They are a good reminder of how far I've come.
    1203 days ago
    Wow... this hit home.. I have literally deleted decades of my life... sigh.. makes me sad.. it is what it is... but I have the power to change that.. thanks for a great blog!
    1203 days ago
    Couldn't agree with you more! My husband LOVES to take pictures and once told me that when I died it would be like I didn't even exist. For most of my "fat years" most of the pictures are taken from behind. It is great to finally be in a place where I am OK with the way I look in pictures.
    1203 days ago
    GREAT blog! A revelation and so motivating! emoticon
    1203 days ago
    Well said, Robert. But I hope you'll also post more pictures with those growing kids today. You, and they, are beautiful!
    1203 days ago
  • v COOKIE_AT_51
    Wow ... never thought about it but you are so right about the pictures. In fact it was a certain "picture" of me at a Christmas brunch that got me really jumpstarted on Sparkpeople. A friend had posted it on Facebook emoticon and I was mortified!! There in full color was me, at my largest. Plus it didn't help that I was sitting next to a sweet tiny friend.
    Next Wednesday is the final weigh in for our BLC21 and I will be posting before and current pictures emoticon , plus I am going to post the one that "kicked" me into reality!
    Thanks so much for this reminder that we are special even "padded"
    1203 days ago
    Good message! Thanks for sharing!
    1203 days ago
    Robert I'm not going to presume to tell you what to feel but I hope you wipe shame out of your thoughts. Love and embrace the man you were as well as the one you are. I see a loving man when has children that adore him and that speaks volumes as to the man you were and are!!!
    1203 days ago
    All these moments - good and bad - are what makes us. If we didn't go through these bad times, then we wouldn't know the strength of what we were capable of doing. Among the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life, losing weight would be in the top 5.

    What I see in that picture is a man who is having the time of his life with his children.

    Congratulations on all your success!
    1203 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/7/2013 3:55:13 PM
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