Need to connect with myself and go really deep inside
Sunday, April 07, 2013
It is coming up to my second year on Sparkpeople and I have still not been able to lose the weight. I am realizing that just being on this site alone is not helping me to deal with my emotional eating. In order for me to start losing weight and keep it off I need to deal with my emotions first and change my thought patterns.
My problem is my self worth and not feeling good enough or worthy of anything and that is why I am not moving forward in my life. All these thoughts are running in the back of my mind, hence the ego, and I am not living authentically through my heart and core. I am also comparing myself to others, especially my brother and sister who have both been highly successful in their careers and have traveled extensively. That has to stop too but easier said than done.
In order to deal with my emotions I have learned from my life coach that I need to be connected with myself and to go really deep inside of me so that I can feel and be aware of my emotions and then change my thought patterns. As this is something I have struggled with for all 51 years of my life (soon to be 52) I am having trouble really going deep inside and connecting.
Here are strategies I am trying so that I can become connected. I am working with a life coach who is giving me exercises and stuff to listen to, read, and watch on dvd. I have seen the two movies 'What the Bleep' and 'Ambition to Meaning' by Wayne Dyer and love those movies but still am not connecting to myself. I will keep on watching them until I get it. She recently gave me other stuff to listen to one of which is by Panache Desai on getting people to meditate and connect with their feelings. I listened to it yesterday but found it hard to get deep so I will keep on listening to it too.
I tried a yoga class which will also help with mind and body connection. Because I am a beginner all the poses were really difficult for me to do and I really struggled but the other participants told me not to give up and that everybody starts off that way too but with practice they are able to change in all ways.
I have been going to a journaling workshop every week or so to help me to improve my journaling skills. I enjoy the workshop and am learning new techniques some of which I can do and some of which I struggle with. I am writing in my journal as much as possible too but still am not connecting and have not cried or felt any emotions while writing.
On Thursday I will try a meditation workshop which runs weekly as well which will also help with connecting. I know I will struggle at first but I also know that practicing will help me out in the long run.
As instructed by my life coach I am also practicing gratitude and doing my best to be mindful when eating so that I do not eat too fast but slow down. At my last session we discussed my emotional eating and she suggested that every time I want to eat when I am not hungry that I say 'NO' and practice gratitude instead or go out and take a walk.
In a nutshell I am trying whatever I can to go deep inside and connect with myself but am still having problems. It is discouraging because I want so much to get past my emotions, change my thought patterns, and move ahead in my life and my weight loss journeys. It is coming slowly one step at a time.
Do any of you struggle with this? Have any of you been able to overcome this? I know I am slowly moving in the right direction but any tips would be helpful for me and I would be eternally grateful.
Member Comments About This Blog Post
oh yes I struggel with this all the time. Coach kristy help but I still struggel with self worth problem. hope your life coach help you as much as coach kristy as help me.
1465 days ago
DO WE STRUGGLE WITH THAT... YES, ALL THE TIME. I DID MANY THINGS ALL MY LIFE AND ITS A CONTINUOUS THING. WORKSHOPS, MEDITATIONS, READING ETC...WE GO THROUGH ROUGH TIMES BUT THEN, IT GETS BETTER. WE CANT STOP, JUST LOOK AHEAD AND KEEP GOING AND PUSHING.
I AM CERTAIN YOUR COACH IS A GOOD IDEA TO HELP YOU.
TAKE CARE SWEETIE
MAYBE TOMORROW. LOL. I AM IN QUEBEC RIGHT NOW, MAYBE WE CAN GET TOGETHER SOMETIME.
1476 days ago
WOW! Sounds like you have a LOT going on! I have a friend who swears by tai chi/QiGong, also a type of meditative exercise.
I wish you the best!
1476 days ago
Interesting that you wrote this today, as I was talking to a spark friend about that very same thing, and how I have such low self confidence, self worth the entire shebang and at 56 still don't know my direction or why I am here.
I have no clue on how to find what I want from life or if I am even really deep down happy I would think most times no... anyway HUGS and hope you find what it is you want to find. and as for the eating.......
Honestly the only thing that has ever stopped me from over eating was when went off wheat. hubby just this second said man you are eating a lot... and I said yes ever since I went back on wheat. I will send you a message that I sent to a spark person who suggested it go on my blog but am not sure.
1476 days ago
Wow, I am impressed that you are trying so many things to get to the root of your issues. Personally, I am a big proponent of journaling. I have kept a journal since I was 18, and now I am 57, so I have boxes and boxes of them! I don't usually do it every day, (although sometimes I do) and sometimes I go a couple of weeks without doing it. But I can tell you that when I DO do it, I have fewer episodes of emotional eating, because I am getting it out. But you are trying so many things that at least one of those things will probably work for you. I have never had trouble feeling things, although as I have lost weight over the past 2 years, I find that I feel them more, that they are more on the surface now, especially anger. I actually did a blog about that last week. Again, though, I really admire all the things you are doing to try to deal with this.
1476 days ago
you went and got yourself good tools. you should be proud of yourself for than. weight loss is so much more than eating and exercising. it is a big work on oneself.
You are on the right track! that is great!
1477 days ago
I wish you well. It seems like you are making a lot of efforts, and the workshop and the yoga class sound really nice!
The influence of other people in our lives is very powerful, isn't it? Some people make things difficult by simply being present in it. I am working on dealing with this too--it is difficult to just "forget" about certain hurtful things, and it is a fact that there is nothing I can do to change the thing that is bothering me. I can only change how I cope with it or respond to it.
What helps me is to consider that there are so many things to learn about, read about, discover and do in this world--more than enough to overrule the negative thoughts, experiences, and people that threaten my focus from enjoying the life I have been given.
1477 days ago
You have to love yourself as by what you're doing and saying, the effort is there. No one can tell you what to do, how you feel or what the results will be but yourself. There will always be someone prettier and smarter than we are. We should not compare oursevles to anyone else. What's for you will and is for you. You are special in your own right. Going to these seminars will not help you lose the weight. I do agree, you have to find out what the emotional eating is all about however, we eat for all ocassions. It doesn't mean that you have to eat the things that are bad for you, there's always the option of fruits and veggies. I go to the Lord with my problems and He's always come through for me. Go to Him first, or you can always keep doing it your way. I'll keep you uplifted in prayer as the journaling and food tracking really has helped me.
1477 days ago
I have, am, and always will struggle with the same demons. I don't think we ever "overcome" these inner battles, but rather learn the strategies and develop new perspectives to help correct them, which will in turn allow us to move forward rather than backwards. I have found using the blogging feature on this site helps me gather perspective when I am most overwhelmed and evaluating whether I am hungry or upset before eating is certainly putting more than weight loss in action. Altering my diet to more raw and natural food has always increased my investment in this process. I am more aware of what I'm eating and why as I prepare my meals, rather than when I was popping something in the microwave or ordering out and eating with instant gratification.
I wish you the best. Keep going.
1477 days ago
Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
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