Sunday, April 07, 2013
It is coming up to my second year on Sparkpeople and I have still not been able to lose the weight. I am realizing that just being on this site alone is not helping me to deal with my emotional eating. In order for me to start losing weight and keep it off I need to deal with my emotions first and change my thought patterns.
My problem is my self worth and not feeling good enough or worthy of anything and that is why I am not moving forward in my life. All these thoughts are running in the back of my mind, hence the ego, and I am not living authentically through my heart and core. I am also comparing myself to others, especially my brother and sister who have both been highly successful in their careers and have traveled extensively. That has to stop too but easier said than done.
In order to deal with my emotions I have learned from my life coach that I need to be connected with myself and to go really deep inside of me so that I can feel and be aware of my emotions and then change my thought patterns. As this is something I have struggled with for all 51 years of my life (soon to be 52) I am having trouble really going deep inside and connecting.
Here are strategies I am trying so that I can become connected. I am working with a life coach who is giving me exercises and stuff to listen to, read, and watch on dvd. I have seen the two movies 'What the Bleep' and 'Ambition to Meaning' by Wayne Dyer and love those movies but still am not connecting to myself. I will keep on watching them until I get it. She recently gave me other stuff to listen to one of which is by Panache Desai on getting people to meditate and connect with their feelings. I listened to it yesterday but found it hard to get deep so I will keep on listening to it too.
I tried a yoga class which will also help with mind and body connection. Because I am a beginner all the poses were really difficult for me to do and I really struggled but the other participants told me not to give up and that everybody starts off that way too but with practice they are able to change in all ways.
I have been going to a journaling workshop every week or so to help me to improve my journaling skills. I enjoy the workshop and am learning new techniques some of which I can do and some of which I struggle with. I am writing in my journal as much as possible too but still am not connecting and have not cried or felt any emotions while writing.
On Thursday I will try a meditation workshop which runs weekly as well which will also help with connecting. I know I will struggle at first but I also know that practicing will help me out in the long run.
As instructed by my life coach I am also practicing gratitude and doing my best to be mindful when eating so that I do not eat too fast but slow down. At my last session we discussed my emotional eating and she suggested that every time I want to eat when I am not hungry that I say 'NO' and practice gratitude instead or go out and take a walk.
In a nutshell I am trying whatever I can to go deep inside and connect with myself but am still having problems. It is discouraging because I want so much to get past my emotions, change my thought patterns, and move ahead in my life and my weight loss journeys. It is coming slowly one step at a time.
Do any of you struggle with this? Have any of you been able to overcome this? I know I am slowly moving in the right direction but any tips would be helpful for me and I would be eternally grateful.