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Homemade Frosting Had it's Way with Me...

Saturday, April 06, 2013

but I must admit I enjoyed every, single chocolatey moment of it. Friends, I believe I have found my Achilles heel. emoticon It's ok though because months ago, I would've have eaten, I kid you not all 3,500 calories worth. emoticon This time the appeal was not quite as strong, and I rejoice. For the moment.

Whew...I am pleased with my results so far, but sometimes get very fearful I will revert into my old habits. If this was my first time losing weight I probably wouldn't feel so frightened, but alas this is my third attempt at a major weight loss. emoticon

I do feel this time is different. Everything just feels so different, and for the first time in my life, I desire to do things by the book, emoticon emoticon emoticon not some fad diet, or get slim quick scheme, yet I wonder. I wonder if those demons emoticon are just a binge away or in the heat of the moment I'll just collapse.

I guess I could prepare now. If that does happen, I could always get back up, right? I could always simply say, yes, Rachel, you binged, ain't no doubt about that, you're stomach is sick, you're ready to explode because you've eaten too much, but you are still here. There is still life running through your veins, so what the hay, how about trying once more, for ol' times sake. Er... something like that. Lol, I dunno. I just want to make sure what ever I'd tell myself will be nice and encouraging and not involve abusing myself mentally or worse yet, with food.

It is an uphill battle for me, I suppose because the claws of this addiction got in so deep, so early. I've accepted it is most likely always going to be a sore spot, a spot to really watch, however, today is a new day, so today I decided to get back on track.

I did not binge although I could feel that demon near by. I am happy for the victory, but soberly reminded that being addicted to anything, including delicious food, could be just a breath away.

In the meantime, I think I'll relax, eat my spinach salad, have a glass of diet Coke and remember it's good to win, to succeed, but it's also ok to fail.

Personally, I have always learned much more from my failures than anything else in my life.

Happy Sparking!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Very proud of you, girlfriend, for taming that tiger in your tank. I suppose even when a person hits maintenance mode that little demon can be around the corner waiting to cause trouble. Score one for YOU, sista!!!
    1804 days ago
    you are doing very well! i used to binge all the time, like everyday.. bad! and now I very rarely binge and its still an awful lot less than i used too, binging is a hard habit to break, but it can be done!! emoticon emoticon
    1806 days ago
    1807 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1807 days ago
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