Saturday, April 06, 2013
I've been absent for a while on SparkPeople and some of my friends may be wondering what I've been up to.
As of last Sunday, 3-31, I had gained back the 20 lbs. I lost earlier last year and added 10 to that....from 175 to 204.8....from comfortable size 12 to slightly snug size 16.
I have been feeling so desperate and came very close to joining Weight Watchers again; in fact, I was 99.9% sure of it and planning on signing up last Wednesday.
I do everything prayerfully and I've learned to listen to my inner voice. It was telling me that I've done that routine so many times before, and maybe it's time to start thinking differently.
We all know ourselves. We know what we are capable of. We know what we are and aren't willing to do. We don't need to consult anyone else because we can feel inside what is best. We're all blessed with an inner knowing. All we have to do is listen in.
A friend I met at Weight Watchers 3 years ago has recently gotten to her ideal weight by undergoing a complete life change. This was sadly brought about by the fact that her breast cancer returned after 10 years of remission. She opt'd this time to have a double mastectomy and forgo chemo for more alternative methods; namely, a specific diet and nutritional supplements that she's on for the rest of her life.
I hadn't seen her since I stopped going to WW over a year ago. I was shocked when I ran into her to see how slim she was. She lost 40 lbs. in 6 months and has kept if off now for 6 months. She said she was never able to achieve this at Weight Watchers. I'm not knocking WW, and many people are very successful at it. For me, I can't live my life measuring out food and tracking and counting. In all the years of my weight struggle, I was never able to keep it up for more than 6 months, often less. As soon as I stopped, I started eating more and regained the weight. To me, thinking about food all of the time and spending so much time keeping track is a form of bondage. I want to set myself free and spend my time, energy and thoughts on something else. My friend says that since she's been eating this way for an entire year, she feels fantastic and has lost her cravings completely. Food no longer has a hold on her.
I decided to follow the same diet as my friend. It's a very healthy plan. Once I get the results of the blood work I just had done, I'm going to consult with my doctor and the pharmacist that my friend is working with to tailor it further to my needs. What's great is that she is a tremendous source of support for me. She hasn't stopped eating this way since she attained a healthy weight. She's eating this way to save her life. I don't want to just lose pounds, I want to prevent cancer and other diseases.
So, I started on April 1. I eat whenever I'm hungry, as long as the foods are on my program. I'm probably eating a little more than I should some days because I haven't rid myself of cravings yet...you know, that gnawing feeling that says "I have to eat something". That will subside over time as I stick with it and continue to only eat the foods that will support and heal me.
I'm focused on healing my body and allowing it to function the way it's supposed to. I'm going to be patient and trust that my body will achieve it's ideal weight as a part of the healing. I don't even have a particular weight goal in mind. My goals are more in the lines of having more energy & feeling terrific, lowering my blood pressure without meds, and permanently achieving a healthy waist measurement and body fat percentage.
All these years of dieting and yo-yo weight fluctuation has had a negative effect on my bodily systems. But the body is a miraculous thing. It knows how to heal itself if given the proper tools. Those tools are proper nutrition, regular exercise, adequate water intake, plenty of rest, and relaxation techniques for the elimination of stress.
Along those lines, I am learning to tune in to how I feel. I am avoiding the scale completely. My annual physical is due in mid-July and I don't intend to weigh myself until I get on the doctor's scale. I'm gauging my progress on these factors: Do I feel fatigued or energetic? Do I feel bloated or light? Do I feel good emotionally or am I having mood swings? Are my clothes getting looser? Do I notice a change in the mirror? Have people noticed a change and commented about it?
I believe I'm headed down the right path because it feels right and I've changed my whole perspective regarding my weight. It's never been a matter of lack of discipline or weakness or inability to stick with something. There are so many factors involved. I'm finding out how key hormonal issues are in stacking the odds against losing weight. No wonder 95% or more of dieters regain the weight they lost. Obesity is an illness. Conventional dieting is not a cure.
Thanks for reading my blog. I'll stop back in a few months. Hugs!!!!