Wrestled with Myself
Friday, April 05, 2013
My training plan called for a recovery swim today, so I packed up and headed to the Y after feeding Gwen and dropping Natalie off at kindergarten. Got Gwen settled into the nursery and changed into my Speedo purple bathing suit with my new swim cap and goggles. As far as sticking to the running training plan, any stroke is okay. But I'm really wanting to improve and strengthen my crawl stroke.
The water felt pretty good and I swam the first 25 yards. I don't know why swimming the crawl seems to get my heart rate going faster than any other activity I do. Perhaps anxiety. I swim backstroke at probably the same level of exertion and don't feel that heart racing. Even though SparkPeople shows the calorie burning rate to be almost equal, I feel like I'm barely exerting when I swim breaststoke, but that I'm working like crazy to swim the crawl. I rested on the wall and then swam crawl back; rested a bit (30 seconds maybe?) and swam 2 laps, 50 yards crawl, without stopping.
There for just a moment I wanted out of the pool. I wanted to run away and never come back. I gave myself a good pep talk, thinking about ONEKIDSMOM and SparkGuy and a few other SparkFriends who have modeled effective pep talks. I looked at how safe it is. There was a very attentive lifeguard on duty and few people he was responsible for. If I'm feeling overwhelmed with the crawl, I can roll to my back or switch to breaststroke and be totally comfortable in seconds. Absolutely this is an irrational fear. If I give into it, it will become worse. So I regained my sanity and swam 24 more laps, most of them crawl.
And I got out of the pool knowing that I had wrestled with myself and I had won!