Thursday, April 04, 2013
You know how I've blogged about socializing with my friend and her crowd of friends? Well, one of them is this nice, older man R. He's pushing 50 years old but we always have good conversation. I've ran into him three times, the last was at the salsa venue I attended the other night. Now, keep in mind I'm not a flirtatious person. Nor have I consciously given him any signals that I am romantically interested in him (which I am NOT!). But R. seems to now have this notion for us to "get to know each other better" over coffee and/or go hiking with our respective dogs (he volunteers at a dog rescue, one of the subjects we talk about), since he messaged me both through FB and my cell phone about it. The group is all connected through FB and we share cell phone numbers, so I didn't think that gave him mixed signals...
I guess I should feel flattered, but a part of me can't help but feel irritated. If he were, per se, a random man who I wasn't interested in that I met at salsa, I wouldn't feel so awkward in turning him down. But the fact that he frequently socializes with a crowd that is becoming my go-to for social outings puts me in an awkward position... If he were to suggest doing a coffee or hiking get together as a group would be OK, but does he really think a young (er, I hope I'm still considered young at 31), single woman wants to do one-on-one activities with a man old enough to be her father?!?
Anyway, I didn't directly answer his inquiry about the hike/coffee get together. I texted something along the lines of, "Good seeing you guys last night at salsa. Look forward to seeing the group next week." I hope he got the indirect message that I'm not interested in one-on-one time nor developing a deeper "friendship" other than from group settings.
I think a part of me is just frustrated that out of all the men in my friend's crowd, the only one showing a straightforward interest in me is a man old enough to be my father :( But I DID at least suss out that C. (a man who I met at one of the earlier parties) is taken. Apparently, he has a girlfriend who lives two hours away in another city. So I assume it's somewhat serious if they're committed to a long-distance relationship. I found this out from a mutual friend because C. along with some others from the group were at the salsa venue last night. Even though it was disappointing to find out that he was unavailable, it was some relief to know his status so that I wouldn't be kept wondering... A part of me, though, felt like Carrie Fisher's character from the movie When Harry Met Sally, "Oh, well, he may become available in the future..." But even then it's silly to ponder the thought because C. has a rather shy personality. I know now he is currently unavailable, but it was difficult to tell if he was even attracted to me.
Thank goodness I have this blog to vent my frustrations! Venting is always preferable to stuffing my face through emotional eating.