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My Precious Jack

Thursday, April 04, 2013

I promise pictures to come. I am at a total loss. My baby boy, my first dog that was mine even if he thought he was my husband's, has brain cancer. He was given 3 to 6 months to live. At the diagnosis his quality of life was determined good enough to live it out until.... But, I don't know if it is the effects of the anesthesia or if his disease progressed just like that, but he can't even seem to walk across the floor without falling.

He's only 8. He is my baby. He is soon to be my last straw. I'm not sure I can do this grief thing any more. Someone told me that brighter days are ahead. That things will turn.... I don't believe it. I've been a diabetic for 45 years, blind for 23, lost both sibs 8 years ago, lost my mom not even 4 months ago, my dad is paralyzed from a stroke, my baby boy, my precious pooch is going to die. When is it going to turn? It hasn't turned in 45 years. So, when? I'm usually pretty optimistic. My positivity was sucked right out of me with the news of Jack. I love him so much. How does life go on? I know it will, but how? How do I go back to work? How do I resume my life? I'm not sure at this moment. I'm lost, lost, lost and yes, broken. Help!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Melissa I know it must be hard when people say "it'll get better". I know I'm constantly reminded God doesn't give us more then we can handle. It feels so heavy and hard right now, but he knows your strong and he'll take care of you! Turn to him, trust in him, and love him! If you can't right now... know I'll do it for you! I love you and will pray, many times, everyday for you, Anthony, your dad, and Jack! I'm so so sorry Melissa. LOVE YOU! HUGS!!!
    1810 days ago
    I am so sorry for all that you have experienced and are currently going through. The thing that you must remember is that there is a spiritual root to everything that happens. The evil that we experience is rooted in Satan and the good in God. There is a battle going on for a person's soul and that battle is to steal their life and their destiny in Christ Jesus. Satan does everything that he can do to discourage a person to walk away from God. He comes to steal your peace, joy, and ultimately your personal walk with Jesus. If he can pull you away from the Lord then you will live a life of defeat, discouragement and ultimately death, spiritually. God is not the author of accidents, disease, sickness, death, and disasters. They come as a result of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden. When Adam relinquished the authority that God had given him over all that was in the Garden he gave up his God-given right to rule and reign over everything that was in his life. He gave it over to Satan, who became the prince of this world. Jesus redeemed or bought back our right to rule and reign but as believers if we don't exercise our faith to receive it we will continue to live under the same fallen nature that came as a result of the Fall. Jesus said in John 10:10 that "the thief does not come except to steal, kill and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." I pray that you will not blame God for all your problems but instead that you will by faith reach out to Him to receive the abundant life that Jesus died to give you. God is not your enemy; Satan is. God longs for you to run to Him for comfort from the disappointments of life, for strength to meet the challenges that lie ahead of you and for the ability to overcome and live in the fullness of all that He died to give you. Many here have spoken to you of the great love that God has for you. I pray that you will follow their advice and run to God instead of away from Him.

    I am praying for you!

    1810 days ago
    So sorry for your trials and troubles here. I know what it is like to lose a baby, a father, a mother, my Germany shepherd and a cat that I still miss after 3 years. I know one day I will get to see my family members in Heaven and that is something I look so forward to.
    Sweetie, try to remember we live in a fallen world and God did not do this to any of us. He wanted the world to be a paradise for all people. However, sin came into the world and changed everything when Adam and Eve sinned. WE have not done any better, for we have a sinful nature that is contrary to Holy God. However, look what perfect love he has for you and me and the world, Jesus Christ our creator who gave us life, gave his up on a tree (and arose the 3rd day) as he paid the price for our sins. I can never seem to understand such amazing Grace and Love to do this for us. He has promised all who believe in Him as Savior and Lord that we will have eternity with him forever and forever, no more death, tears, pain. Honey, the best is truly yet to come. While we are waiting on Him to come for the believers, he promises us to give us his strength through the valleys of our pain and troubles. Jesus knows more than any how it feels to suffer and he will comfort and give you the peace as you rely on Him. Please, dear sweet lady, do not focus on the loss, give your pet the best love you can while he is still here. Take pictures and write the things you have enjoyed about him the most. Keep those things near and dear to your heart. Your dog feels your love, so don't let him feel your fear.

    I am praying for you dear one in all the things that you are going through and have been through. If we live to be one hundred here and experienced a lot of misery, just think those who have made Christ their Savior and Lord will have time without end with joy and happiness forever more.

    1810 days ago
    Sending positive thoughts your way so that you get through this difficult time.
    1810 days ago

    Don't Give Up On Your Life! Satan comes to STEAL, KILL and DESTROY. There IS Life In Jesus. TRUE Life. CAST All Of Your CARES On Him Because He REALLY LOVES You! PERSONALLY and PASSIONATELY He LOVES YOU! I Understand that things seem hard at this time but THIS is the time to run TO God not from HIm. His ARMS are wide open and HE is saying COME! HOPE is in The Lord! I am a testimony of that.
    God Bless You!
    1811 days ago
    Melissa, I am so sorry for all you have been through and are going through now. Sweetheart, I feel your pain.. with family being ill and your beloved dog so ill.. emoticon Don't give up on God, hon.. God does not put these things on you... I will pray for you, your Dad and your baby Jack. emoticon emoticon Karen
    1811 days ago
    Dearest Melissa, I am so sorry to hear this about your precious dog!

    Father God, we come before You in the matchless name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. We lift up this precious dog to You and all who love him. Wrap Your loving arms around them, and bring healing and comfort. You are able....

    I love you!
    Canice emoticon
    1811 days ago
    The outpouring of love from your SparkFriends must lift your spirit just a tiny bit. There are no words in the English language that can cheer you right now, but please know you are loved through this ordeal.
    1811 days ago
    emoticon I care
    1811 days ago
    I am so, so sorry.
    1812 days ago
    Oh Melissa, there is nothing more I can say than what has already been said.
    I am so sorry to hear about Jack. I know how much you love him, and Jack knows it too. Just hug him, and love him for as long as you can. He needs you more than ever now.

    I'm saying my prayers for you and Jack. I hope things ease up for you. As others have suggested, please seek help for yourself. It is obvious that you are falling farther and farther into a depression. You have many friends here at SP that are worried.

    My God Bless you, Jack, and your Dad. emoticon
    1812 days ago
    Melissa, we are all so sorry for you!

    1812 days ago
    Melissa, I've been thinking about you a lot the last days as you have such a burden to bear. Reading your words today I become even more concerned about your feeling of hopelessness. If you haven't already, I like many others here, suggest you get some professional support. I know you yourself are in counselling by profession but we each need others at various times in our lives to deal with extreme burdens. You need support to get you through all you are bearing. It's the current concerns on top of the loss of your mom and even your siblings. Melissa, praying you will be led to a fine counsellor who can support you as you have need.
    Maria emoticon emoticon
    1812 days ago
    I am so sorry your Jack is in such a sad condition.
    Never lose your faith. When all else fails, God is still there.

    I am praying for you, and for your Dad and Jack. God does not always heal our loved ones, but He gives us strength to go through the hard times when we lean on Him.

    God bless you Melissa.
    1812 days ago
  • KAT7457
    emoticon emoticon
    1812 days ago
    Grief takes time and it is often quite overwhelming. Talk to others would be my advice. My best to you emoticon
    1812 days ago
    I am so sorry.
    1812 days ago
  • 2BEHEALTHY2014
    Melissa - My heart is breaking for you. You've been through so much. Please do seek professional help if you feel you need it. You are a strong person, but this is a lot for one person to handle. Sending hugs your way.
    1812 days ago
  • DANLIN60
    Melissa, lean on Anthony for support and yes call your doctor and go for counseling as soon as possible. It will help you get through all of this. It is hard to understand what God's plan's are, we just have to trust him. I will continue to pray for you, Melissa.
    Hugs and love
    1812 days ago
    Enjoy Jack as much you can. You have some time to let him go at your pace! Grief counseling may be a way to do that! Hugs, my friend!
    1812 days ago
    I am so sorry to hear of all your recent losses. I've had a patch of time very similar. I tried to get through it on my own, and finally realized I needed the help. I am seeing a therapist to help me navigate my way out from under this pain.

    I hope you are able to find the help to get you out of this dark place also.
    1812 days ago
    I don't have anything more to say than the rest have said. I just want to have another set of arms wrapped around you. I understand right now it's hard for you to feel that things will turn. Life has been horribly unfair to you. But you are still here, you touch people and animals around you.

    Look at all of us, we never met you yet we want care about you. We wish for good things for you.

    Like the others have said please seek professional help. If that is not possible financially, see your doc for resources.

    We are all rallied around you babe! Keep fighting for yourself!
    1812 days ago
  • TANYA602
    My heart breaks for you right now, and I do hope that you find the support and love and help you need thru your husband and the team of people who love you most.
    1812 days ago
    Melissa, I hope you take the advice of many here, and seek professional help. You have been through a lot, and you're about to go through more, and doing it all alone isn't always the best way to handle life. And I know it's hard, but remember to include your husband in your grief, so you can walk through the grieving process together.
    1813 days ago
    I am sorry about everything. This is a lot. Are you seeing a therapist? If not, i highly recommend it. Actually, I think your husband may want to go too. You are both really going through it and it will make you stronger as a couple.

    I will continue to pray for you and your family.
    1813 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/5/2013 7:32:43 AM
    Melissa, my heart breaks for you.. I know you must be in a lot of pain. You really are a usually upbeat person but with all the tough times you're going through lately.... I truly believe it will turn at some point. For now try to focus on what positives you can. Sending prayers your way.
    1813 days ago
    I am so sorry! I continue to pray for you!
    1813 days ago
    Poor Jack. I know how hard this kind of thing can be, it is so hard to see our fur babies in pain and know that the end is coming. My Pookie was bad at the end as well and it was very hard to watch and know that there was nothing we could really do but love her. I hope you have as much time as possible with Jack. Hugs for you both.
    1813 days ago
  • BEEJAY49
    You have been through so much. :( My heart is broken for you. I know the loss and pain you are feeling right now. Please ask your doctor for something stronger for now. I wish I could be there to help you through this and give you hugs, but know I'm praying for you. I love you and I know there's nothing I can say to make it better. Just try really hard not to let this be the last straw. God Bless and HUGS!
    1813 days ago
    Melissa, Please consider getting some emotional support locally to help you cope with all the losses. There must be a grief support group or counselor in your area. Your doctor can help you. You still have that wonderful husband that also needs you. Do this for him and for us that love you here on Spark People. Continued prayers for you and your loved ones.
    1813 days ago
    Oh, I'm SO sorry to read this! I know how devastating losing a beloved pet is, I can't imagine dealing with that along with everything else :-( Sending great big emoticon your way.
    1813 days ago
    1813 days ago
    Oh Melissa, I am so sorry. I agree that you need to call your doctor. You need to talk to someone about everything that is going on. I know what it is like to lose a parent and a pet.

    Melissa, I am praying for all of you.

    1813 days ago
    OMG sweetie! I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the pain you are in right now. I know it is overwhelming. All I can say is I am here for you. Love you.
    1813 days ago
  • FISHER011
    I'm sorry for all you're going through. You're in my thoughts and prayers, you & yours & Jack.
    Bless you all! My heart goes out to you.
    1813 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/4/2013 10:44:26 PM
    emoticon I am so sorry for the pain your in- Please don't give up- maybe going to your Dr is a good thing- maybe he can give you something to help you through your pain. I know losing loved ones is the hardest thing to go through- You are stronger than you think and we are all here for you emoticon
    1813 days ago
    ((((Melissa))) call your doctor. I'm praying for you. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet. I don't know how hard it is to do it in your situation. I can and am praying.
    1813 days ago
    Keep your head up
    1813 days ago
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