Thursday, April 04, 2013
By 7pm, I've done very little. My food for the day has been spread out, so I haven't really had a defined breakfast, lunch and snacks. I had a cup of fruit salad with nuts and cinnamon, and a tsp of sugar (I've had to top up the lemon water and it's now a bit too tart) with my usual cauldron of coffee, 2 cups of healthy chilli con carne, 2 slices of brown toast with 2 eggs and 1 chopped red pepper, some buttery spread on the toast, and a couple of mouthfuls of cinnamon fudge.
I've been pretty inactive so far; I did the 8 minutes of pilates this morning but to be honest I found it boring. It's designed to be a gentle morning stretch, when what I generally crave in the morning is something more invigorating. But hey, I did it. I make plans to do my wii fit test then have another bowl (1 cup) of chilli with some carrots perhaps (they're literally the only veggie thing I have left, apart from sweet potatoes which I want to conveserve).
I've been thinking about my shopping list too, for tomorrow; frozen mixed vegetables for dinners, I still have cheese and pasta so there's some quick and easy ones there, and I have some lean beef and chicken too. I have lots more chilli, but it needs mixing with the frozen mixed veg and a tin of tomatoes and another of beans before it will be ready, so I guess I'll be buying a couple of tins of each (giving me 4 dinners). I'll be getting some more of the fruit salad, too; I seem to have made 8-10 cups without breaking a sweat (or the bank) so I'm happy. I have some yogurt and lots of sesame seeds left. So, yeah, my £15 is going on fruit salad (£3.50), beans (£2), tomatoes (£1), peppers (£1.50), frozen veg (£1.10) and general things like bread (£1), butter (£1.50) and milk (£3). This way I'll have fruit salad, 1 or 2 slices of toast, an egg and some chopped and fried veggies to go with it (btw; veggies aren't fried in anything, just a non-stick pan, so they're healthy!), lunch will generally be a sandwich or some chilli, and dinner will be chilli or cheesy chicken and veg (I even have extra mature cheese so I don't use too much of it). I have fruit salad, nuts and olvies for snacks, and some very sickly little fudge bites for my sweet-tooth; they are basically pure sugar, but they're little things the size of a toothbrush head and one of them is generally enough to face-punch my sweet-tooth; better than a huge bag of Dorito's or a bounty binge, no?
Some of the comments I get make me giggle; it's nice to know I'm being read and supported, although the concept of me being organized (I'm looking at PattyKlaver here!) made me laugh my muscular buttocks off! I appreciated all the comments...and I agree with Jeanut that it's better to go slow and stead than rush into heart-ache; I did the whole "MUSTDOITNOW!" thing with my first parnter and, though we're still good friends and I don't regret a second of it, we ended up having a child together who will never have full siblings or live with both parents under the same roof. Now, I know how sweet two families can be when done right, and I know as long as I'm friends with his father and we both actively engage in his life, he'll have a good one. But still, I feel like maybe if we hadn't rushed things, it would be...better. I don't know. That said, if we hadn't done what we did, rushing and all, we wouldn't have our little boy...and I'm sorry, but no matter the circumstances of his conception and birth, I wouldn't change him being in my life for the world. The rest of my relationships however...yeah, I'm just a poster child for why you shouldn't rush into things, lol.
I found today that I was knitting through hunger; something I don't tend to do. My biggest appetite related issue is that my hunger and my desire to eat are not one in the same; when I get hungry it comes on suddenly, and I am STARVING and I need FOOD FOOD SUGARY FOOD RIGHT NOW! I don't get peckish, I don't sort of crave something, I'm just fine for 8 hours then suddenly famished, so I have to remind myself to eat at certain times, not just when I feel hungry. I guess it comes from when I was a kid; living with one parent who binge eats (and encourages one to do the same) and another who is anorexic (and also encourages you to do the same) will do that to you, it seems. Anyways, it did get me to realizing that maybe knitting is the key to keeping my hands and brain busy; snacking tends to be boredom related, in front of the TV, late at night for me. Maybe this could be my substitute? We'll see.
By 11pm, I've done all the dishes (the biggest chore!) and given up on the 10 minute SP video since it won't load properly. I did my 30 minutes cardio, so I'm happy. I've sat down with a cup of tea (I know, caffeine before bed; who wants to come spank me? :-p) and the last hour or so of project related stuff. I'm chilling with my knitting and the wonderful Dolls of New Albion album (if you have no idea what that is, please, go google it; even if you don't like the music the story is quirky!) and feeling like life is good.
No alcohol, last thing before bed was the fruit salad and tea, and no stresses today or tomorrow. If anything, I'm feeling pretty darned good! Bedtime is 1:15 tonight, and apart from achieving all the things on my to-do list, I have no real bedtime routine.