Thursday, April 04, 2013
Hey guys and gals...
I derailed big time. No one and nothing to blame but myself. The last couple weeks have been rough and busy. Between my shoulder injury, not qualifying for a mortgage on the home I was hoping to get into, Easter celebrations with the family, and just a lack of motivation and time in general - these things have really got in my way.
I haven't exercised in a couple weeks and I am really feeling it. I've been eating OKAY. I haven't been eating enough veggies and my addiction to fast food has weaseled it's way back into my routine. I promise that today I will quit doing that!
The number on the scale is back up a few pounds - I didn't meet my March goals. I was so ashamed with myself because I was feeling so great and proud of myself - couldn't believe I was actually about to hit my goals! Then the stupid shoulder - I let it get in my way and it really crashed me in terms of motivation. Ugh, I am still not feeling motivated but I will push myself.
Tomorrow will be hard as I am making my nephews birthday cake and I sometimes find it difficult to control myself when I'm in baking/decorating mode. I will do it though. I am going to give myself yet ANOTHER fresh start and do better this time. I was doing so fantastic up until my shoulder injury, so I know I can get back to it. I just have to want to.
Today and tomorrow I am going to eat better. My next 48 hours is packed full of stuff so I have decided that on Saturday I will begin my do-over.
-Track everything that passes my lips - EVERYTHING
-Try to stay under 1500 calories/day
-Back to 180 minutes of exercise/week (3 nights a week - 1 hour a night in the pool doing deep water aerobics)
-Drink a MINIMUM of 8 glasses of water per day - although I should be striving for more like 10-12 but right now 8 is okay
-At least 10 servings of vegetables a day - sounds like a lot but I am a very big girl and need it
My APRIL goals:
-I want to lose 10 lbs this month - I didn't do it last month so this time I will
-Lose 5" of grossness off my body (my entire body, measuring pretty much everything)
-I will hit 550 minutes of fitness this month
-I will take my medication as prescribed - 2 times a day EVERY SINGLE DAY. This is something that should be quite simple to do, but I struggle with it more than anything
WHEN I reach my April goals:
I will reward myself somehow. I don't know with what yet but I will do something for me and I will surely deserve it.
I really wish I didn't let myself get thrown so far off the wagon. I guess that's a part of the journey though. We've all done this, what seems like, millions of times before right? We begin, we do well, we give up, we quit, we get back on and start over. It feels like a never-ending cycle. If I'm being honest I will have to admit that I don't think I've ever felt THIS unmotivated before. I don't care what my head is saying, I'm not listening. I'm staying here until I don't NEED to stay here anymore.
Any suggestions on how to kick start the motivation? I think I may just need to take more time to value myself. I was doing that often in the very beginning... telling myself how much I deserve it and a few of my pals here have offered some great ideas - like actually telling yourself the great things about yourself while looking in a mirror and I planned on beginning to do that but that's right about the time I derailed. This time I will try it.
I can do better than this. I have before so what the hell is my problem? I need a swift kick to the butt and I need to give my head a shake. Dreams don't come true by sitting idly by and moping and throwing a pity party. Dreams come true when a person realizes they are deserving, they are strong, and they show the will and determination to make things happen. I can do that... I think.