Stress has become a big part of my life recently. I know that I have to handle it better because it does not do me any benefits and really just causes more harm than good. Life is hard for everyone and the key is learning how to deal with it - without food!
So back in July my family and I moved from Atlanta to Ft. Lauderdale. We moved in with my In-laws which was only supposed to be for a month. Well it is now April and we are still here with my In-laws - don't get me wrong I am extremely grateful for all of their help, and believe me it is not from our lack of trying. We have put multiple offers on houses but we have lost all the bids so far! The current one we went $20k above asking and we are still waiting to hear- so much for a buyers market!
My oldest daughter is 10 and the move was harder on her than we had expected since she was so excited to move here. It has been beyond a challenge, she has had severe anxiety at school, failing her classes, not making friends. We are on her second therapist and there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Except she has learned to take her frustrations out on me and I cannot get a handle on the disrespectful attitude.
My other stressor is my job. To most it would seem that I may never be happy in my job (my husband). I like to feel challenged, I work for an amazing company (always on forbes top 100 to work for), I get to work from home, and it is in my field of compliance. The problem is I left my previous job where I was able to have my hands in everything, constantly learning and growing. Now I feel like I'm on an assembly line just adding a bolt to the final project, I am losing my relevance to my trade. I am considering a job that would be a 3 hour round trip daily commute for a much needed increase in responsibility.
Now for the main stressor that will make the last one seem like I'm being irresponsible. My four year old daughter got sick at the beginning of March, just all of a sudden I was getting her ready for school and she started screaming that her head hurt and she was cold and throwing up (my daughter has an extremely high tolerance for pain - she has had 5 surgeries and is a trooper). Long story short she had a kidney infection and thank God her Ped sent us to the hospital because her left kidney was blocked and severely enlarged. A week later and a surgery later to place a temporary stent in we went home. Last Monday was supposed to be our DR appt to schedule surgery on her kidneys when the day before she got another infection, back to the hospital with a bacteria that is highly resistant to antibiotics, they had to replace the existing stent and spend another week in the hospital. To say that my daughter is strong is a severe understatement. She is amazing, she doesn't cry to get blood taken, she gave herself the anesthesia into her IV
! Any ways she has major surgery scheduled for the 24th, she is handling it great and I am eating uncontrolably.
Right now I'm just in a funk, wishing we never moved from my perfect house, but yet so grateful that I had family here to help us. Wishing I could read my daughters mind and get a respectful relationship back before teen years. Knowing I should stay with this job, but hating every minute of it. Worrying about my little one and not being able to do anything to help her.
This was my pity party and now I have to stop and look at the circumstances and take the bad with the good. You can't change what you are dealt but the way you handle it is what defines your life and I need to redefine my life because no one can do that but me.