I am not an on again off again bear!
Thursday, April 04, 2013
I see that today I was put in the spotlight... just to let you all know that I took a break last fall for personal reasons... I also gained quite a bit of weight during this time.... I was struggling with a lot of physical pain due to arthiritus... I had to quit my gym membership as I couldnt' use the machines... my mistake was to just take a holiday from exercise all together..
I had been with the teddy bear on these challenges for many of them... I would lost about half of my 5%. I struggle daily with my weight as I am the only one in the home that has this struggle.. it is hard to have to sit and watch my dh and dd be able to eat the way they do and not gain an ounce... so I try to do the best I can do while still doing for them what I know they enjoy.
I have tried to persevere with my weigh loss program in that I am aware of what I am eating... I have cleaned up the way I do eat to a certain point... and I have done some sore of exercise for the last 65 days. I am feeling better than I have in a long time although I still do struggle with a lot of pain in my joints and other things.
I have tried to post at least once a day on the challenges... I have not given up... even when I have a bad day I know that I am human and can start again the next day... I fail all the time... but I have worked with this for many years... I don't share my personal battles online but I have been struggling with my mom who is 85 bipolar and schizo who has a very serious physical problem and absolutely will not go and get checked out for it... and my dad who is going through organ failure and is turning 90 this month the day after my birthday... I know that I will lose them sometime in the near future... it isn't easy to face this when I have 5 siblings none of whom share the burden of caring for my mom... I see her every week... some days I can't take the way she is and have to leave to conserve my own sanity... other days like today when I saw her was a good day...my 2 sisters care for my dad and get him to all his doctor appointments... I try to see him when I can which isn't to often as I don't get to Vancouver to much. It is hard to see a strong man go downhill as fast as he has in the last 2 years...
Life lately has been a real struggle... if it wasn't for the Lord in my life I don't know where I would be today... I am thankful for His grace and mercy that He extends to me each day... I know there are many of you facing hard hard struggles in your life and my heart really goes out to you.. but in spite of it you have managed to lose a lot of weight and be more successful with this than I have been...
but I am not giving up... I am still here... after 6 weeks... and I will be here till I have hit my goal weight... I can't do as much exercise as most of you are able to do as I have many physical limitations... I am not using that as an excuse... but I do what I can do... some days is more than others but I keep moving because I know that I need to keep moving.
Anyway.. hope no one takes offence to this but I have learned over the last 50 years to be able to laugh at the hard things... for a merry heart doeth good like medicine. it is being able to laugh at myself and the situations I have found myself in from the time I was 11 till now when I am turning 60 ... that has got me through being able to see the humour in the calamity that comes upon us from time to time.. that and the fact that I belong to the Lord Jesus wholeheartedly.. He is my life and It is His strength that gets me through lifes hardest trials
I trust you all will have great success the rest of the challenge and will have some understanding for this on again off again bear... I will persevere... and I will overcome... one of these days I will get below 200 and shock you all and especially myself.
Take care of yourselves and lots of luck in your every endeavor!!