Thursday, April 04, 2013
My mother is tremendously unhealthy. Her idea of a "good breakfast" is a big plate of biscuits and gravy. Exercise is something she does slowly...and maybe once or twice a month. She never breaks a sweat while doing that exercise. It's not surprising that she went from being thin to obese and pre-diabetic to diabetic. It wasn't a shock at all.
Before she was married and had me, she was a cheerleader and a model. She weighed 98lbs until my sister was born. Then when she had me, she "plumped up," to 127. I can't even tell you have many times she told me how I had "ruined her figure." You'd think I had set out with some sort of evil plan to ruin her life...before I was born.
When she would meet my friends' moms, she would immediately compare herself to them. She'd point out that she was cuter than THAT mom...or that she hated THAT mom because the other mom was thinner. She wouldn't just think these things in her head. She'd say them out loud to me. She went on and on about it.
When I gained a few pounds during puberty, my dad started cracking the fat jokes. "We're going to have to send you to a fat farm if you keep eating like that!" he'd say. I weighed 110lbs the first time he made one of those jokes. I remember, because my mother almost immediately started explaining to me HOW to lose weight....quickly. She had me hop on a scale an told me what would be a good amount to weight to lose. I was eleven years old.
I lost weight. Oh boy did I! By high school, I was nursing a good little eating disorder. I ended up in the hospital for that. My parents didn't take me to the hospital. My grandparents did. My mother resented the fact that I had "got sick." She made me feel terrible because she was going to have to pay my medical bills.
Today, my mother was in the hospital, having surgery done. Before she could get that surgery done, she had to get her blood sugar under control. The doctor simply refused to do the surgery until she did as he asked.
So, she came to me...weeks ago. She wanted to know how I had stayed so "thin and healthy," while she had gained weight and become obese. I told her. I exercise. I gave up dairy. I watch how many calories I take in. After a day of explaining how to do what I do, she dismissed me entirely. I didn't hear another word about it until today.
Her boyfriend said to me, while she was having the surgery done, that my mother had lost 20 pounds since I last saw her. He might as well have said, "No thanks to YOU." That was the tone in his voice. I said that it was good that she found something that worked. He said that she had...she'd given up carbs and was living off of bacon and eggs.
I swear you could have hit me over the head with a hammer and it probably would've have shocked me less. I SHOULDN'T have been shocked. She was always the queen of the fad diets...unhealthy diets...quick fix diets. Why would she do something different now?
I pleaded with him to get her to consider a sustainable, healthy lifestyle. He looked at me and shrugged. That was the end of the conversation.