Wednesday, April 03, 2013
Ok so lately I've been thinking a lot about that fact that in 38 days I am going to be married. There is so much to be excited about. Dan is amazing and I get to spend the rest of my life with him!
There is just one thing that has been bothering me. In 38 days I have to share myself with another person. Every part of me, the parts I do like and the part I don't. Dan will see all my flaws, he'll see all the parts I get to hide under jeans and shirt sleeves and its kind of hard to not be worried what he'll think.
Don't get me wrong I am so looking forward to giving myself completely to Dan but its hard not to feel like I might not be good enough. The thing is that I know its all in my head. Dan has very clearly indicated that he thinks I'm the hottest. lol I know he loves every part of me, we've had some very candid conversations about weight and health and I keep him updated on how I'm doing with my weight loss. I just can't seem to convince myself that I'm as beautiful and sexy as Dan sees me.
Then I read a blog. It completely changed the way I view myself.
I owe Brittany Gibbons a great big thank you. Check out the blog that changed me.
After looking at her pictures and seeing a beautiful woman showing off her size 16 plus size body to the entire internet with confidence, I realized that you don't have to be thin to be beautiful and sexy.
I spent some time evaluating myself in the mirror. I realized I am beautiful, I'm not perfect, but having 100 extra pounds does not make me ugly and unworthy. Its just beauty in a different form. In my journey towards a smaller and healthier body I had become so focused on how much prettier I would be once I reached my goal weight that I lost sight of the fact that I'm beautiful now. Just as I am, with all my flaws, and my extra pounds.
So thank you Brittany, for helping me realize that my 253 pound, size 20 jeans, body is beautiful. Thank you for helping me find my confidence.