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2Year Breast Cancer Survivor


Wednesday, April 03, 2013

.....actually it is exactly 2 years and 4months emoticon that i have kicked Cancer's Butt emoticon

I still have to go see the Oncologist every 4 month.....in the Beginning it was every 3 months....and I have now graduated to every 4month.....after the next appointment...it will go to every 6 month......

The Mammo's are every 6 months......and I think this won't change until maybe another year or so......

You think it would get easier......but it doesn't......at least not for me.......I was just telling a very good friend that I get really emotional and depressed a few weeks before the check-ups....and that I also avoid anything that pertains to Cancer....especially Breast Cancer....
.....I know everyone is different.....at first I had the Desire to volunteer for Breast Cancer Organizations.....but I changed my Mind.....I get too sad.... ..depressed and worried when I hear and see women that suffer from or have been diagnosed with BC......

I also completed my 1st Race for the Cure Walk(last Nov) but even though it was Fun...I was depressed meeting so many women that have been effected one way or another from Breast Cancer.

On top of it as I was waiting with a friend for the Beginning of the Race we had a lovely lady sitting at our table...who started to tell us that she was 17yrs Cancer free....and was just diagnosed again having BC emoticon

All this scares me to no End....and I have decided that for me it is Best to stay away for now......this may be wrong...but it works for me to not read about BC.....and hear as little as possible about what has turned my Life upside down November 2010!
Of course I am still doing all the Medical exam...and do not turn a blind eye to new developments etc.....but overall.....and for right now....I am also staying away from anything 'pink'.....I have a hard time to NOT associate 'pink' with BC.

So today I had my 6month Mammogram....I was nervous.... emoticon ......I prayed a lot.....and asked for Prayers from family and friends emoticon

After my poor Boob was done getting smashed and abused between those plates emoticon I went to another room to wait for the Results .......I made me a cup of tea emoticon courtesy of the Hospital....and sat back and tried to breathe in...and breathe out... emoticon

When you sit there all kind of Thoughts tend to come to Mind.....'Why is it taking so long today?"
"Is the radiologist on break...or is he/she double checking the images because he/she saw something?" aaah...she/he is probably taking a break......'
"Have I been kind enough and kept my promises to be a better person after i was healed from BC? Have I?? hmmmm...well...there was last week when you should have been nicer to such and such.....'
"What if the news are bad??? What then??? " No...no!!!!.....remember....on
ly good thoughts....everything is fine...you are well....and healthy!'
I should reconsider the volunteering.......despite my fears.........where is the Nurse??? Ooooh...look at the pretty yellow tulips on this magazine...(i loooove yellow tulips)....is it a sign of good news??

Finally the Nurse walked in.......she didn't close the door......I took that as a good sign........but then she sits down right next to me......is that a sign that she is about to try and comfort me...because of bad news?? emoticon

And then I hear the most beautiful words:"Your Mammogram was normal' ......she says........
......and all of a sudden my World is good again...the sun is shining despite of it raining...and I feel so much Strength and Hope inside of me....I want to jump up and shout......but I smile emoticon and ask her if I can give her a Hug?? She smiles back and says "Sure'...and we Hug.......

Please remember to get your yearly Mammogram!!!






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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ROZEEROZ1 4/6/2013 2:07PM

    My sister-in-law comes from a family of women who get breast cancer. Her doctor told her to invest in flax seed omega 3. Flax seed helps to fight breast cancer. The lumps [non cancerous but had the potential of developing into breast cancer] that my sister-in-law had disappeared with being faithful eating flax seed on her cereal or salad. She has had no breast cancer tumors develop at all.

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CHRISPYLEE 4/5/2013 4:43PM

    Oh Taty, I love you so much!! I am of course thrilled you got the all clear!!
You write so beautifully from your heart and it is like I am right there with you....and you describe it perfectly the emotions you go through.....I will always be cheering for you and will be so happy for you when you don't have to go through all this as often! BC is scary and you have every right to how you feel. You are a survivor and I have been in awe of you since this all began. I don't think there is a wrong way to act or feel....you do what works for you. You are doing everything right for your health by living a healthy lifestyle and you kicked cancers a$$!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Thank you for sharing your journey and your love and humor with all of us and for reminding everyone to get their mammograms.
emoticon emoticon

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ANNIE.B 4/5/2013 7:54AM

    YAY YAY YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FUSIONFITNESS3 4/4/2013 4:34PM

    I think your reactions are very human and real and you don't need to apologize for them. As I read your experience I could truly believe all those emotions and thoughts being so real.
Thankful for your normal results. Celebrate. Embrace each new day. Praying for continued good health for you.

Maria

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MINENA2 4/4/2013 3:49PM

    GOD BLESS YOU!!!!! You're such an amazingly strong woman, and I am extremely happy for you! Love you!

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LADYJ6942 4/4/2013 1:38PM

    Taty that is great news but oh so how nevre racking that weight must be. You are a strong woman to have come so far, congrats on that great news. You'll find the best path for you to help or not when the time is right.

Hugs my friend!

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A-STRONGER-ME 4/4/2013 12:46PM

    Never find fault with what works for your own personal journey.

emoticon on the anniversary and I think pink is for sissies - which you AIN'T!!!

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-POOKIE- 4/4/2013 9:35AM

    What good news xx emoticon

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JERSEYGIRL24 4/4/2013 7:43AM

    Taty,

You are amazing!!! I emoticon you to pieces!!! Yes you have so much to be thankful for, but you have worked so hard, too. I am near tears as I read your blog.

I have seen something on Facebook to the effect that for many people, the most important thing in life is something material, like a new car. For a cancer survivor, the most important thing is kicking cancer to the curb. I was looking for it but of course can't find it just now. If I d0, I will try to pass it on. But I immediately thought of that when I read your blog.

You have done it emoticon emoticon and I know that you will continue to do it!!! emoticon

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PUDLECRAZY 4/4/2013 7:35AM

    Congratulations! Such great news!

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WATERMELLEN 4/4/2013 7:19AM

    My goodness you do capture the feelings so perfectly!! I had a mammo technician ask me a year ago if I was "just in for a routine mammo" and I told her, there is no such thing as a routine mammo for a breast cancer survivor, every one of them is traumatic. Said it a bit humouously and she did take it that way, but I hope she also thought about it . . .

Congratulations and jubilations and dance a jig, right? Because every year we pass without recurrence, the greater the likelihood that it won't recur!!

(And no, you don't have to immerse yourself in "things pink". And no, you won't be punished with recurrence if you hold yourself protectively a bit aloof from all of that. It's OK. Really. It. IS. OK.)

Comment edited on: 4/4/2013 7:20:56 AM

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SWAZY33 4/4/2013 6:20AM

    So glad to hear you got the all clear :)


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NUOVAELLE 4/4/2013 5:07AM

    I really couldn't describe all the overwhelming emotions that I had while reading your blog. So, I'll just say I'm really, really happy with your good news! Keep on dealing with it the way you feel is best for you and keep on having the same positive attitude towards life.
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DAWN14163 4/4/2013 4:27AM

    You deal with it the way that suits you best. Thank you for writing this and giving me a little insight of what it's like from a different perspective. Wishing you many healthy years ahead.

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STONECOT 4/4/2013 2:58AM

    I have managed five years so far. I don't think I will ever lose that unsettled feeling, the waiting for it to all be turned on its head again. But on the positive side, I am grateful for each healthy day I wake up for, I never stop counting my blessings, and I try to use every day to the full. emoticon emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 4/4/2013 2:41AM

    You are amazing Taty emoticon I am so happy for you emoticon

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PHOENIX1949 4/3/2013 11:55PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DENAMARIE1 4/3/2013 10:54PM

    I am so happy to hear of your results!!!!!!

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BRAVEONE92 4/3/2013 10:50PM

    emoticon so happy that you are
cancer free!! What a blessing! I know
how you feel about all that you wrote
about. Like you, I try not to give BC
a thought, however, we both know
that we can get it back in 5 different
places. At first, I didn't dread my tests
at the cancer center. Now, it seems
to bother me more each time I go.
I think most women who has had
it will never feel completely good
about having it already. Dear
Friend, I am so happy that God
blessed you to be cancer free,
yet again. Hope now, you can
enjoy the months to come and
have some fun and enjoy your
life. emoticon

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HPSANDDOLLAR 4/3/2013 7:21PM

  emoticon

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GRAMMAOF16 4/3/2013 5:07PM

    Great News! I'm a survivor too - 23 years 5 months!! So very much to be thankful for!

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ICEANGEL0531 4/3/2013 5:04PM

    Let God be glorified !

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