Wednesday, April 03, 2013
I keep finding myself saying I want this, I WANT THIS. I have been saying it and then asking it of myself over and over the past few months; do you really want this or do you just want to accept the 50 lbs you lost and move on with other things you have to do. The answer in my head is no donít move on I want this. I want a lot of things. I want all the things I can do when I am more healthy and skinnier then the things I have put up with doing because I canít do so many other things at my weight. So yes the answer is No I donít want to stop at getting a few things back at being happier with myself but not at the happiest I can be.
Now I donít think I have to lose weight to be happy, no quite the opposite some times, but I do think doing things I want to do make me happier and that is what I want. I want to have the capability to do any ole thing I come up with to make me happy. Walk, dance, skate, fish, climb mountains, visit friends, spend the day shopping without oxygen, volunteering, just any ole thing. Ride a Ride at the amusement park that ďI wantĒ is one of my top things.
Do you do that, ask yourself questions and then answer yourself? Sometimes I even say the answers out loud without thinking about the fact that I am in public and people may think I am one step away from the loony toones. Actually sometimes I AM actually one step away from the Looney toons but I donít care LOL. Now back to my original thoughts, No I have to answer this question a lot on a daily basis or else I will quit the work.
Work you say, work I donít like that. Nope neither do I but I love the results of work and I love that I am capable of working at losing this weight. Exercising even when I am not in the mood. Walking when my nose is dripping and my hip is tired. Bicycling when I know my Asthma is going to kick up when I hit my fast pace and I am going to need more oxygen (yes I am a oxygen gal or as I call myself sometimes an Oxygen Sucker) as well as my inhaler, and the people around me in the gym think I am sick and they start moving to other machines to get away from the cougher. Work yes but tell someone they are too old, or too weak or too Heavy or too whatever to work out and they canít exercise and that will change that thing called work into a wonderful thing they want far more than anyone else. I now consider exercise a gift. A gift that was given away by me because I stopped taking care of myself and let my house (self) fall into disarray. Now that I have taken back that gift I do not intend on giving it away again anytime soon!
So yes, it is not always work in my book sometimes fun, but it still needs done and I still do want it! I want to lose this excess baggage and enjoy the lighter side of me. I am now in the 230ís which is 62 pounds less then I was last August and now I find myself asking the questionÖ.. Where can I be this August, just four months away from now? I donít know the answer but I know I want it. I want more walking, more bicycling more FISHING more activity this summer than the last. I want to get out and Enjoy LIFE until I am too tired and feeble to do so and that will be a long long time from now. Heck in my heart I am only in my twenties so I have a long way to go. HA!
Susan aka Sparkinator