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    TINAJANE76   55,980
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I Don't Think It Will Ever Be Easy for Me

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Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Every once in a while, I come across a comment from someone who says that they find weight loss and maintenance easy and I have to admit, it shocks me a bit. I can find lots of positive adjectives to describe this process and how it's changed me, but easy definitely wouldn't be one of them. I also feel a bit jealous of people who find maintenance easy--if others find it easy to maintain their losses, why can't I? I've developed lots of great strategies to deal with the temptation to binge, I love the healthy food I make for myself and generally love my lifestyle, but the compulsion to overeat and make poor choices is almost always there, simmering just under the surface.

I've been thinking a lot about exactly why this is for me and I've come to realize that it's because of why and how I got to be so overweight in the first place and why I had previously never been able to maintain my losses before. I didn't put on so much weight because I'd had a baby or medical issues or even because I'd let it slowly creep up over time. Overeating was just one of many self-destructive behaviors I've indulged in because I didn't value myself and my body enough to treat it well. And like the other compulsive behavior I've engaged in at one point or another, the temptation to fall back into my old bad habits is always there. Regarding my old smoking habit, which I haven't done in nearly ten years, hardly a day goes by where I don't want a cigarette. Every time I see someone else having one (and here in Italy, that's often), I want one too. I don't give into that feeling, but it's there and that's why it isn't easy. The same can be said for my eating habits. When faced with something that tempts me, I almost always still want it and have to make a conscious effort to refuse it or eat it moderately. That's still not easy for me and, like giving up smoking, I don't know that it will ever be.

Even more difficult than identifying the fact that my overeating has been part of a pattern of self-destructive behavior is pinpointing exactly why I felt compelled to hurt myself. I didn't have a bad childhood and I haven't had any majorly traumatizing events that would have triggered this. What I do have is a family history of substance abuse, often coupled with depression and/or anxiety. Some people in my family have turned to drugs and alcohol--my drug of choice was food and cigarettes. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I was trying to cope with when I was abusing my body, but at least I've identified the pattern and can see how my own destructive behavior mirrors the behavior of other people in my family.

Being disciplined helps. Planning my meals helps. Eating beautiful, tasty, healthy food helps. Choosing my indulgences wisely helps. Staying connected to my support systems helps. Working on bolstering my self esteem and healthy coping mechanisms helps. Sticking with all of these things for the long haul helps. But they still don't make it easy--they make it manageable and I'll take that any day over a perpetual cycle of self-destructive behavior.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLIMBERS_ROCK 7/3/2013 3:22PM

    Try EFT. My sister and I battle the "easy" issue also. We find tapping together makes a huge difference Good luck.

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NEEDBU66 5/7/2013 2:28PM

    Every one said what I was going to say so I won't repeat. Just wanted to add my kudos to you for accurately expressing what you feel and what the true drawbacks still are and ever will be.

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STSCOTT11 5/7/2013 9:21AM

    I don't believe some people mean it literally IS EASY. That there is no work at all involved after a while.
I think compared to where they started, the pumps along the way, making THE CHOICE to live healthy became easier to maintain as a lifestyle over the long haul.
I can say the same thing...at this point IT IS easier...but to say IT IS EASY would be stretching the truth.
I think people handle this journey more and more optimistically. And THAT is where it could appear people feel is it easier.
To believe one crosses an imaginary line and everything from that point on is simply easy can't be accurate for every journey.
Anyone who truly had "a weight problem" KNOWS things people who never did NEVER KNEW. I believe all of our journies have things in common but EACH ONE IS UNIQUE.
Its one thing to be over weight, in need of taking off a few lbs...its another to have been over weight, with health problems, wrestling demons who are very real for many years to the tune of 50 or more lbs.
Not diminishing anyone's challenges that are not on the same level...but the two are simply DIFFERENT.
I would advise to be careful comparing yourself to others when it comes to this OR ANYTHING. When you "compete" there is always a winner and loser. BUT...if you compare yourself to what you determine to be YOUR BEST than you will always be A WINNER.
Hoping you will continue to have a sparkling journey.

Comment edited on: 5/7/2013 9:25:17 AM

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VTRICIA 5/7/2013 8:20AM

    As one of the easy types I really appreciate this. I do think about eating all I want, probably more than once a day. Not even anything specific, usually. I just miss the feeling sometimes. I hear smoking is the hardest thing to kick, so that's awesome! Exposure dones make it harder. Whenever I watch regular TV I'm amazed by the food ads. They are less on Hulu. How am I just barely realizing you're in Italy?

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EFFRAYECHILDE 4/30/2013 7:45AM

    I agree with you on this 100%.

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STEFIGURL 4/19/2013 11:45AM

    loved this blog! thanks for your honesty :-). food is my drug of choice and I have found such relief from my compulsion here on SP. I am recovering...one day, one meal, one bite at a time!

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KAYSON25 4/12/2013 10:54AM

    Very well expressed. I do have easy days, the ones where I have a plan in place and am too busy to do otherwise. Those days are rare though and It is all too easy to slip back into bad habits. A hurtful comment or stress sends me to the unhealthy foods. Congratulations on your losses and know we are all striving to do better every day.

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DSJB9999 4/12/2013 8:19AM

    emoticon for sharing TinaJane. I really agree with you, I don't think its meant to be easy though! I think this post is fantastic as I agree with so many of your thoughts, I don't know of any reasons why I go on self destruct either.

We have to be strong and make good choices wherever we can.

emoticon emoticon on maintaining! I hope I can continue to be strong as you too. Donna.

ps Thank you for the friend add x

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SALLYKWITT 4/11/2013 2:44PM

    Thank you for sharing. I just can't believe I will ever get to maintenance most days, but I am getting better about it every day.

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ELAINEANNE1 4/11/2013 8:13AM

    Hello
Like you I think weight loss is not easy especially when you are older, I had an operation about 8 years ago and since then it has been even harder. I am a mental health carer and have stress and anxiety problems myself. Your tips are good ones thank you.

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KUTEY5041 4/11/2013 1:12AM

    I totally relate with you

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NEWTINK 4/9/2013 8:53AM

    Nothing worthwhile is ever easy ... emoticon

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CORNERKICK 4/8/2013 5:54PM

  emoticon

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GRAMPIAN 4/8/2013 6:18AM

  You're much more likely to succeed when you realise it's not easy. emoticon

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LAWANDMUSIC 4/7/2013 8:04PM

    Thanks for sharing!

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SHERRYBETH84 4/7/2013 4:53PM

    I am so there, with you. One bite, and I am back to fat. I felt lucky that I didn't have the alcohol problem that runs in my family. I now see that I have changed it up to food. I think, if I could quit smoking I can quit binging... But I could start up smoking in a heartbeat, so there really is no easy for me, as well. Thanks for the pointer.... I am fighting an addiction, not a weight problem. The weight is a visible sign of my internal addiction. Recovery is weight loss. Wow. I just had an Ah-Ha moment. THANK-YOU!

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EDENLINNEA 4/7/2013 2:47PM

  thanks for sharing

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MNM_13 4/7/2013 11:58AM

    I really enjoyed your blog! I have the same feelings. Keep up the good work, it is not easy!

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KRISTYE81 4/7/2013 11:13AM

    I love the frankness of your blog. Maintenance is really hard which is why so many people regain. Your blog was refreshing.

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KEEPFIT2013 4/7/2013 11:01AM

    emoticon Thanks for sharing so openly and honestly. Amazing how food can be such a powerful 'drug'. Awareness is an important step and helps change habits from unconsciuos to a choice. I'm excited for you!!
emoticon

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HAPPYMENOW58 4/7/2013 4:18AM

    Loved reading your honest blog. Soooooo true.......You are VERY motivational because you speak for so many of us.....It isn't easy, and it never will be easy....We have to remember that and know we are NOT the only ones who struggle! That's what Spark People is all about! Thank you for putting these thoughts into words.....I am so happy for you, and wish you all the best to continue on your healthy journey.

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FISHER011 4/7/2013 2:42AM

    emoticon

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TOKIEMOON 4/7/2013 12:29AM

    Not easy for me either - and yes, I haven't had traumatic triggers to make me who I am with my relationship to food. Thanks for acknowledging your struggles, as I am right there with you!
emoticon

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HHB4181 4/6/2013 9:40PM

    I agree, not easy.
emoticon

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KAB7801 4/6/2013 8:50PM

    You're not alone!

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ROCKMAN6797 4/6/2013 5:40PM

    Maintenance is not easy. It involves the same amount of work it took to lose the weight. It involves a lot of planning, a lot of self-control, and most importantly the drive to remain on the path that got you there in the first place. Maintenance is not easy!

emoticon

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SLIMTHICK2 4/6/2013 9:04AM

    Good, honest blog emoticon

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KATHIC2 4/6/2013 8:29AM

  Great insight. Really resonates with me.

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LIFETIMER54 4/6/2013 5:37AM

  emoticon emoticon

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CHERIRIDDELL 4/6/2013 1:32AM

    Awesome blog and it makes me feel like I am not alone !

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CLAYARTIST 4/5/2013 10:46PM

  emoticon m

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POUNDSAWAY13 4/5/2013 11:43AM

    emoticon on your success. I find that anything in life, if you really want to reach it, no matter how hard the going is, it is well worth it.

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AMANDACOETZER 4/5/2013 9:24AM

    emoticon

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BLOOMINGLENA 4/5/2013 6:20AM

    Great blog and I really couldn't agree more with you. Losing weight is not an easy process. And I am glad you have succeeded in your journey! Keep it up because being healthy is very important. Thank you for sharing!
emoticon emoticon

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JAMER123 4/4/2013 11:16PM

    I am one that has a very difficult time with saying no to the foods that I love and shouldn't be eating. I have a feeling the plateau I have been on is there because of it!! Han in there and you will make your final goal!!! Maintaining is the ultimate!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MISSBOOBOOKITTY 4/4/2013 11:11PM

    emoticon

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DIANNEMT 4/4/2013 10:05PM

    Thank you for sharing. I am hoping to start the "maintain" very soon!

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CICELY360 4/4/2013 9:56PM

  good blog

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CICELY360 4/4/2013 9:54PM

  good blog

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KIPPER15 4/4/2013 8:52PM

    The weight loss journey is truly never done. It is hard to lose and then maintain weight. Keep trying. It is so worth it. emoticon

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MYSTERIOUS-LADY 4/4/2013 8:01PM

    emoticon

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ROCKYCPA 4/4/2013 7:50PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PATRICIAANN46 4/4/2013 5:08PM

  emoticon for a wonderful blog!!!

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CARTERSGRANDMA 4/4/2013 4:48PM

  Love your blog. I reached my weight loss goal in November and have been struggling to maintain ever since. For me, all it took was a very negative comment from a sibling about what a REALLY big butt I still have (FYI my current size is about an 8--the smallest of my entire adult life) to put me on a downward spiral. And now here I am 10# over my goal weight and still trying to get my mind and self-esteem in a good place and my weight back down.

Anyhow, so yes, I totally agree that maintaining is VERY difficult and a daily commitment to making better choices.

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TERMITEMOM 4/4/2013 4:37PM

    Thank you for your honesty. It ain't easy for me either. Spark helps by showing us it is a way of life we need to change. And that is hard...

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KOOSHKY 4/4/2013 4:16PM

    emoticon

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GOOSIEMOON 4/4/2013 4:09PM

    I agree. Thanks!

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LISA_FRAME 4/4/2013 4:00PM

  emoticon

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SHOAPIE 4/4/2013 3:43PM

    emoticon

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LIVELYGIRL2 4/4/2013 3:25PM

  This blog was so honest. I believe you expressed much of what many think or have experienced in some facets. I passed it on to my sister, because she is struggling to maintain. In fact, for some reason, if she allows herself to eat small amounts of whole grain carbs, pounds return.

Obviously, there is so many reasons why we pack it on to begin with. It's smart to figure out where to guard, and what drives us to overindulge.

You got guts and courage. Great blog. emoticon

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