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SUNSHINE65
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Tuesday, April 02, 2013

A new poll shows that 64 percent of New Jersey residents don't care about New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's weight. That's mostly because Chris Christie IS 64 percent of New Jersey. -Conan O'Brien


Congresswoman Michele Bachmann is under investigation for alleged misuse of campaign funds. She's blaming the accusations on her arch nemesis: the facts. -Jay Leno


Top Ten Questions On The Dog IQ Test

10. Did you eat the dishtowel?
9. If a car is moving at 30 mph and you chase it at 15 mph, how soon will you catch it?
8. Sit
7. What is it, boy, trouble at the mill?
6. Kibbles, bits, or none of the above?
5. Paw? 4.
Conjugate "woof"
3. Who's a good doggie?
2. Summarize the advantage of licking yourself
1. Can you parallel park a car? (video of dog driving a car)

-David Letterman


Last year there was some trouble at the White House's Easter egg hunt. One kid looking for eggs turned up Obama's birth certificate. -David Letterman
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