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ISAVEDME80
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It's A Spoonful Of Frosting Kinda Night

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

So since the fibromyalgia is kicken my butt so bad I couldn't even get out of bed until almost NOON.
So my food was messed up.

I had crap foods today cause i just didn't have the energy to move.

I gave in to cravings and found a tub of icing and plunged a fork into it and sat there and ate it off the fork. i stopped at one fork cause it honestly didn't taste that good my mind just was convinced I needed it.
it didn't even taste good...AT ALL.
Now I'm sitting here crying beca8se i just do not have the energy to move or do anything else but cry I know its the fibro making me feel like this but knowing how something happens doesn't make it any less painful.

I feel stupid for crying
And my grandma said to me tonight OH i thought you would outgrow it Chasity.
I've been dealing with it since I was 20. I'm 32. All the while taking care of her cause she is poor health.
I put my own crap aside to take care of her and she makes comments to me like that like im stupid for this. I have no control over this. its not something I did and I cant CURE it
Ah man I'm so angry at her for being so insensitive to me when I have given her my home to stay in. i have bent over backwards to help her. to take care of her in her poor health reguardless of how much pain IM IN i have always taken and put her first and she makes fun of me.
I love her with all my heart but sometimes I just do not like her.
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I just feel like quitting everything.
throwing my hands up and saying forget it.
everything is overwhelming me the last few day and I pray it gets better weather soon so I can feel like a person again and not a 32 yr old trapped in a body of a dinosaur

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v JUMPINJULIE
    i'm sorry. emoticon and prayers.
    1205 days ago
  • v LILORITA
    emoticon for your pain. I hope you feel better soon emoticon
    1207 days ago
  • v CLPURNELL
    emoticon
    1207 days ago
  • v GOSPELCLOWN
    Sorry for the sad situation. Grandma just doesn't understand... she is stuck in her own loss and pain.
    I am glad that you had that Aaa-haa moment with the icing. Very often our ideas fool and lie to us. Now, that junk food can be seen as powerless over you.

    You are doing a good thing by looking after a sick and elderly family member. Throw your cares upon the LORD and rely on Him to buoy you up. Grandma will not be a help for your pain.... sorry.
    1208 days ago
  • v CAKAROO
    emoticon
    1208 days ago
  • v SWIMLOVER
    emoticon and emoticon
    1208 days ago
  • v TOKIEMOON
    Never give up. Keep coming back to SP boards and you'll find lots of support and encouragement. You can do it!! emoticon
    1208 days ago
  • v COCK-ROBIN
    I'm here for you, and don't think it's bad to cry. I do it a lot. I'm praying hard your fibromyalgia lets up on you.
    1208 days ago
  • v IAMWINNING
    I second the comments by LOOKINGUP22012. I also hope that tomorrow will be a better day for you. I'm praying that the Lord will provide the comfort you need.
    1208 days ago
  • v WALLAHALLA
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1208 days ago
  • v NANCYPAT1
    (HUGS) I am sorry you are in so much pain and feeling so drained and down. Your grandma probably doesn't mean to HURT you but she just doesn't really understand the whole condition - they didn't have that when she was younger (nobody ever heard of it until about 15 years ago and nobody knew that it might last a LONG time). I hope your day is better tomorrow.
    1208 days ago
  • v LOOKINGUP2012
    I'm so sorry you are in pain and depleted of energy. This is not the time for insensitive remarks. I don't blame you for crying. It's a good release from some of the anger and hurt. Please forgive her and continue to rest as you can. Praying for your healing.
    1208 days ago
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