Tuesday, April 02, 2013
I was debating today on whether to blog or not. I am having a terrible time with "me" today. She does not want to eat healthy, drink water, exercise or have any contact with people today. She is basically throwing a tantrum. I have to sit here and laugh because I can honestly almost picture her sitting in her room with her arms crossed and not even looking at me today.
Today I will work a full day and deal amicably with people. Today I will blog because it is the one thing I do that makes me feel like I haven't totally given up on myself. Today I will keep in mind that drinking water will make me feel better. Today I will eat healthy because it is what I deserve. Today I will keep my desires in check because they are not necessarily what is good for me. Today I will love "me" - tantrums and all and I will be good to "me". Today I will make an extra effort and remember those who have things worse than I do.
I don't remember if I wrote about my cousin. (I may have) But just as an update - She is younger than I am and weighs about as much as I do. She got very sick recently to the point of almost dying. She has been in the hospital for weeks now on a vent, kidneys not working, liver shut down and a super bad infection in her legs. I found out that she had a cut on her lower left leg along with boyles on the bottom of her feet that got infected. She was not able to reach her feet or take care of the cut because she couldn't reach due to her weight. She was so embarrassed and did not want to ask for help to care for her leg. The cut and boyles became so infected that she went septic. Once that happened her kidneys shut down and then she went into respitory failure and her liver shut down. She had to have surgery last night. Her leg was amputated below her knee. I love her and my heart hurts for her. It scares me to think that this could happen to me.
Today I will remember why I started this journey in the first place. And today I will...