Tuesday, April 02, 2013
I am here to say that I can't do this alone. Having and committing a food plan is something I must do daily if I want to hold on this way of life.
This is it for me. I cannot do the food by myself. I have a disease that is cunning baffling and powerful. It wants me if not physically dead at this moment, it wants me spiritually dead, emotionally dead.
I lived in misery before OA. All my energy went into trying to convince everyone that I was happy, satisfied, ok.
I am becoming who I am meant to be. I have joy and sorrow in my life now. I get experience and live life, real life. And that is better than any fantasy I have ever imagined and tried to live in.
If I forget that I have this disease my life goes away, and all the weight and misery will be back.
I needed to say this.
I am a food addict. I am powerless over food. I have a Higher Power that I stay connected with by working this program. This Higher Power can relieve me of this obsession one day at a time. So I will let Him. I will start by writing down my food plan for tomorrow.