Monday, April 01, 2013
My creative juices and witty writing is not coming to me at the speed by which I would like. I think I have had it on my docket for a solid few days to post a new blog, but I just haven't been able to find the glorious inspiration like I normally do. You see, when I write a blog post, it is usually because something happened to me or something caught my attention, had me thinking, or I just wanted to share my thoughtful musings with anyone willing to take a few wasted moments to read them...maybe smile....maybe laugh (sometimes at my own expense)....maybe just to get a few sparkpoints :)
Then it came to me. I was sitting here doing some PhD work, watching Vampire Diaries in the background, few students in my office keeping me company, Facebook chatting a seriously wonderful person--multitasking at its finest people! Anyways, I'm sitting here thinking about food and how I didn't eat a sit down dinner and how I am feeling under the weather so that is affecting my appetite and I'm stressed, so that has me seriously over emotional and my head hurts and I'm tired....yes, I can go on.
Anyways, the one thing I got to thinking about is how there is a weird connection to everything going on in my life and my weight. I'm up right now. Not happy about it. Causes me stress. Stress gives me headaches. Headaches cause me to make poor choices regarding food (or choosing not to eat). My poor eating habits make me gain weight or hold onto water weight. Then I am right back to the stress. This is the VORTEX of self-deprecating mishmash of emotional chaos. I HATE this cycle. Sometimes it carries this seriously dreadful loss-of-control feeling. I'm sure you know what I am talking about....
But, let me add this really ridiculous element to the pot. You ready??? Another thing that seriously affects my weight is my happiness. When I am happy, giddy, excited about life, in love, etc. etc. etc. I gain weight SO easily. When I am sad and depressed, I lose it like a CHAMP. How messed up is this? Some people eat their feelings when sad, not me. But I don't eat my feelings when I am happy either, I just keep weight on like a happy little Buddah. I don't get it. But whenever things in my romantic or personal life are going great, this girl gets her 'happy fat' on. I love the feeling of being joyously happy (as I am right now) but MAN, I wish my body would just find consistency!
The 'happy fat' needs to be the 'overjoyed fit' and I need to avoid the 'sad skinny'.....
So, I may be a little 'happy fat' for now, but I'm glowing in the happiness, so I will just have to take it ;)