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    STEELKICKIN   33,881
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Get Real

Monday, April 01, 2013

Dear Self:

Who are you?

If you were able to peel back the layers of your life, disrobing the learned behaviors and shaped beliefs that you have carried with you throughout your life, would you do it? Who are you behind closed doors, when no one is speaking, when no one is listening, when no one is watching? What is your innermost dialogue that seems to be speaking with every heart beat, your true definition, your real purpose, of your life here on this earth?

Is it to be considered a success in your career? Is it to be labeled as a strong and dutiful person whom everyone looks up to? Are you tough? Are you soft-hearted? Are you intelligent? Proud? Remorseful? Do you put yourself under a daily microscope and vow to do better or do you just "float" thoughout your every day hoping the next is a better one? JUST WHO ARE YOU? When the lights go out and the house is quiet, when you are alone and no one is around, what is the true you?

If you could cast off the garbage that your heart has carried over the last few years, would it be liberating, freeing? Most of the time, you do not like what you see when you look in your soul's mirror. Flawed. Imperfect. Handicapped. Broken. But it is in the mess of you that you will find your truth. You know this to be true. So why do you hesitate? You know it is within this kaleidoscope of pain, triumphs, successes and failures that your true definition lies.

One of your biggest endeavors is better health but you seriously have to begin within. You have to find a way to get to your true nature, forgive your imperfect thinking, develop a different dialogue and find acceptance of YOU. If you cannot love yourself at 210, 180, or 150 pounds, what makes you think you are going love yourself at your goal weight? And what makes you think that you are going to be capable of loving others, truly and deeply, if you cannot love YOURself AS IS? Are you capable of doing that when you are wallowing in self-pity or giving yourself grief because you have deemed yourself unlovable and imperfect??

Newsflash. You ARE imperfect. You always will be. You must accept your physical flaws and make an agreement that you do not have to have a perfect body. You do not deserve to beat yourself up over your past mistakes or sins. You are perfectly imperfect and your life is a beautiful chaos of mistakes and learned lessons that have taught you so many things. It is then and only then you will be able to clear the smoke of your thoughts and look at the person across from you with no filters, with no judgments, with no prejudice and see the heart deep within THEM, THEIR fears, THEIR social awkwardness, THEIR joys, THEIR longing for acceptance and love THEM despite THEIR imperfections, too.

So who are you?? Do you abuse your emotional well-being? Do you belittle yourself, make fun of yourself, make fun of others? Do you tell yourself that if/when you get to your desired weight, get that promotion, etc, etc, you will finally be happy? Or do have the courage, right now, right here, to accept yourself for who you are, at this point in time? Are you willing to admit that we are all connected in this life, in this fragile existence, by the same cord that makes us all human? Are you willing to forgive yourself for past mistakes, casting them off like an ill-fitting coat? Are you willing to step out from behind your excuses, behind the lies you are proclaiming and just get real? Are you willing to finally accept your flaws and imperfections because they are unique, beautiful and exquisite...?

It's time. It's time to throw off your blinders, expose the true you and embrace yourself with the same encouragement and compassion you claim to have for others. You're not getting anywhere by sitting in the dust of your self-criticisms. You're not getting anywhere by spinning your heels in the same direction that didn't get you anywhere before. Be bold. Be strong. Take action.

Have the courage to love yourself, the real self, the one that lies in the depths of your heart. You are worth it.

The Self You Were Meant To Be

God bless.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MISHKALA 5/3/2013 1:03PM

    You're amazing. Thank you. emoticon emoticon

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BEAR8MM 4/6/2013 7:32PM

    I looked deep inside, and I think I'm a pervert.

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GABIBEAR 4/6/2013 12:41AM

    Great Blog Michelle! Thanks for posing the question and having us ask ourselves!!!

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LOVINGAFRICA 4/4/2013 2:33PM

    I was asked that same question by someone else recently.
'Would you want to know your TOUCHSTONE MEMORY that has caused you to be resilient and cloaked? The thing that defines so much of who you are, but that you can't remember?'
And all I could answer is 'I will have to check with Jesus'
It is the best gift in the world to have a Friend who knows all the answers and always decides with wisdom and total love for us. That is why we can thank Him for EVERYTHING, the imperfections and flaws too. Even the things that we have forgotten.
May you daily grow closer and closer to Him, and be completely Blessed.

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SUSIEMT 4/3/2013 4:15PM

    What a great blog! Great food for thought! Keep up the good work!

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KIMCOLLINGS 4/3/2013 3:17PM

    Beautiful. Just beautiful!!

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BRADMILL2922 4/3/2013 1:52PM

    As you said to me last night, we are our greatest critics. It is really easy to sit around and say that if we change this or if we do that, we WILL be much happier. Do it now. Don't say WILL, say AM! There are things that happen in everyone's past that we would like to change but it really does no good to dwell on those things. You can not change them. They happened and have shaped you into the person you are today. They are still shaping you into the person you are going to be in the future.

"Who are you behind closed doors, when no one is speaking, when no one is listening, when no one is watching?" Such a good question that everyone should take the time to really think about. It can be easy to put on a "public face" of strength and confidence, but deep down in your soul and spirit, who are you? What are you doing to make your life and the lives of the ones you love better today? Better tomorrow? Self reflection like that can be eye opening. Self reflection like that can be painful. But, self reflection like that can be liberating! Find that person you have always wanted to be. Find that person that you want the rest of the world to see.

This journey that we are all on isn't always about a number. It isn't always about the number. It isn't always about the physical reflection in the mirror. Sure, those things are nice markers along the way but the real journey is for your inner peace. For your inner happiness. Nobody is perfect, so don't try to be. But try to be a person that shines bright upon the world with the little time that we have here.

Michelle, I am forever grateful to call you my friend because I know how you as a person have been shinning bright in my life through good times, and some bad. You have helped me more than I can possible say. I know because of the presence of your spirit in my life, that I am a better person for it. I hope that when you peel back your layers to yourself that you see the beauty within that I have come to know over the past months. It is exceptional. I am glad to "know who YOU are". I love you.


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MANDELOVICH 4/3/2013 1:28PM

    Very moving blog. Thank you. I think this is at the crux of the efforts we are all making here, and yet, I find it so hard to do!

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AJDOVER1 4/3/2013 12:54PM

    Well said. You're an incredible inspiration.

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SAMI199 4/3/2013 10:48AM

Sharon suggested I come over to read your blog & I am glad I did. Awesome

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GOANNA2 4/3/2013 8:04AM

    Powerful blog. Thank you. emoticon

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CHERIRIDDELL 4/3/2013 3:18AM

    Awesome blog!

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JERMADSON7 4/2/2013 9:19PM

    It's funny how much easier it is to hide behind our excuses, eh? Or to blame our imperfections for why we can't get to where we want to be. I see myself in these words. I think we all can. If we could cast aside these "limitations" of our self, could you imagine how far we could go? What we could accomplish? It's time for all of us to be honest with ourselves. But why is that so difficult? What do we have to lose but the very thing that is keeping us stuck in the past?

Very true that we are a complete package, not just portions of here and there. Our bodies, minds and hearts are connected and not separate from one another. Finding the sync is crucial for our overall well-being. Wise words. Once again, you force us to look into our nature, our hearts, and ask ourselves some difficult questions. The answers won't be easy either but once we break through, the freedom to be, the acceptance of self, is well worth the journey.

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_BABE_ 4/2/2013 9:00PM

    There comes a time when it gets more and more difficult to say I will be this or that in the future because you likely have more years behind you than in front. I finally realized that THIS (whatever this is) is what I am rocking in my life and reading your blog has reminded me, ”Make the rest of your life …the best of your life.” emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 4/2/2013 8:54PM


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L*I*T*A* 4/2/2013 8:12PM

    emoticon emoticon

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KING_SLAYER 4/2/2013 4:38PM

    That was deep. I have a lot of work to do it seems. Although I can say one thing with honesty, I try to live my life with integrity. You ask some very serious questions in this blog post, questions that can't be answered quickly. I'm going to copy and paste this into a word document to save so I can come back to it and maybe even share it with family and friends.

Thank you my sweet friend :)

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VICKI-B- 4/2/2013 4:30PM

  Wonderful blog. Thank you. emoticon emoticon

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JACKIE542 4/2/2013 4:18PM


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WORKNPROGRESS49 4/2/2013 3:53PM

    emoticon blog post!!! emoticon

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PURRRPY 4/2/2013 3:26PM

    Thank-you for keeping the Spark Alive - You are truly awesome and an inspiration.


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WALLAHALLA 4/2/2013 2:48PM

    You made me feel like an onion....peeled for the very 1st time emoticon emoticon You are just too emoticon for words!

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PHOENIX1949 4/2/2013 2:41PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHARON10002 4/2/2013 8:46AM

    Amen, sister! *hugs* I may be wrong, but it seems as though we both are walking along the same path in search of our true selves, and struggling to find that core truth of the pure love that resides deeply buried in our very being. I do feel that we are making progress and turning corners in our journey. Thank you for sharing yourself in this very POWERFUL blog, and all of your precious experiences with us along the way. You're my North star, the one who helps me to right my bearings along the way, and points me in the right direction - always toward my true self ... emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LMB-ESQ 4/2/2013 7:21AM

    Wow! What a great blog! How painful was this to write? Stripping back the layers of yourself is one of the most painful things anyone would ever have to do. And yet it's so necessary. I've found that the way to avoid the worst of the pain is to do this consistently and always try to be self-aware. I hate surprises and one of the worst surprises is to realize that I've been hiding something from myself. For me, pulling off the band-aid and watching the wound heal is a lot less painful than letting it heal and then reopening it later. Sounds cruel maybe, but it really isn't.

Thanks for sharing... emoticon

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BEANIES_MOM 4/2/2013 4:11AM

    Great blog! emoticon

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JUNIAATROME 4/2/2013 2:56AM

    Note to self: Get a grip on yourself! On second thought: never mind! emoticon emoticon

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JADOMB 4/2/2013 1:29AM

    In God's eyes we are all perfect. Who are we to argue with God?

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DOVESEYES 4/2/2013 12:39AM

    Great blog!!!
I've found in the process of losing weight I have had to do just this and work through my 'self awareness' I am the same person inside now as I was at 110 kgs as I will be at 56 kgs if I don't analyse and work through the reasons and motives I have at each stage.

But also if I thought I was perfect, would I have started this journey at all? Would 'being perfect' have been my excuse to stay the same and not go after my dream of being healthy?

Deep stuff that I will process in the 'process' of changing the outside of me.

Thanks emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JOHNTJ1 4/1/2013 10:57PM

    I am not my past nor my future. I am my present. This moment, the right here, the right now is all I have.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, today a gift."

When my dad lay dying about a year ago he looked up at me and his last words to me were. "I've lived a good long life but gosh its went by so fast." He was 87. I cherish today.

My real self is the one who sits here present to this moment of creation that will not come again. I will savor it

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