Monday, April 01, 2013
This year I can honestly say, I started out right!
I started with a list of goals, and I have kept those in mind every step of the way. When I have slipped up, like the time I was hungry and went to the grocery store and came out with chips, I didn't beat myself up...I moved on.
I have also done something I never thought I would do. I have found some people that I have trusted with my little secret. I have never been comfortable sharing this with many people. I opened up to two people about what is really behind my weight gain and what I feel about it. This is huge, because I always felt like everyone judged me and they weren't interested in the truth. Instead of getting that, I got a bit of compassion.
The truth is that while yes I did gain weight after being put on a few different medications, I cannot blame this on medication. I can only take the responsibility myself. No one forced me to stop going to the gym, to stop doing the things I loved, to stop eating healthy foods. I did that all on my own. I was very depressed, and I honestly just gave up on myself and on my life. I wanted to die. I spent all my time wallowing and being miserable instead of enjoying life.
The decision to share this was not something I though about, it was an honest moment with a friend. She and I have only been getting close in the recent year, and we were talking one afternoon about struggles. She said that she is shocked that I am over weight because I barely sit still, I am always on the go. Then she asked me what it was that caused me to gain the weight...and I just told her the honest answer. I think I needed that moment of honesty with myself too, because I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I even talked about the causes of my depression...what made me feel so badly. Since that day I have talked briefly to one other person about this, and it is something that I am challenging myself with. To stop lying to myself most of all, and to forgive myself first...then to forgive some other people as well.
So with all this positive energy flowing through me, I decided to also take a sneak peak at how my goals are coming along...what a great motivator and confidence booster!!
So here it goes:
1. A January Priority...During 3 days of the week I have large pockets of time during my work day which I want to use for exercise. I need to contact the school where I work in order to figure out a way to use the gym on the property, or go to the YMCA across the parking lot. Either way, I will pay a small fee to use the facility and get in my exercise.
DONE!! I not only managed to get this done right away, I also managed to get in lots of exercise. I worked out 2 days a week at the YMCA, then also at home and at the new Zumba class I joined. Some weeks I didn't get in 3 days, but I didn't focus on beating myself up in those rare moments, instead I patted myself on the back for choosing exercise over being sedentary!!
2. Get an appointment with a dermatologist to get my skin looked at. We suspect that the sudden problems are food allergy related.
I decided to wait on this...as the conditions seem to have cleared up with avoiding trigger foods and using coconut oil to moisturise. I will keep my eye on it, though.
3. Get an appointment with a nutritionist in order to better look at the options I have available to me to get the vitamins and minerals my body needs, while avoiding the foods that seem to trigger reactions in my body.
Not yet, still working on this one.
4. By December 2013, I want to be down 90 lbs. I can do this by continuing to avoid fast food, bring water (2+ bottles daily) and healthy snacks with me for the day, and increase my protein intake. I will also do cardio a minimum of 3 days a week, while aiming to increase to 5 and 7.
So far (have to still weigh in for March) I am down 14 lbs since January!
5. Introduce new ways to be active that I want to be involved in. This includes cross country skiing, hiking, evening walks, snow shoeing, jogging, rowing, skating, and cycling.
I am going hiking this year for 2 weeks on vacation, I started walking outside, I am going to do my jogging again this year, and I have started Zumba 2 times a week. I am planning on trying Yoga once work is done in April.
6. Get involved in something. Join a club (photography perhaps), or a class (aerobic or art).
So far, joined Zumba. Next is an art class and I am going to make plans for a masters course at the university in the fall.
7. Save money.
I have managed to put away a substantial start to savings since January. Plus I have savings to do some small renovations to the bedroom and hopefully bathroom, as I have been hoping for.
8. Fix up our master bedroom, replace refrigerator & stove.
Work in progress!
9. Continue my efforts to de-clutter & minimize in my home.
On hold until my room is done and I can go through things. I have started a clothing donation pile, though.
10. Spend less time holding grudges and more time letting go.
Step one...forgive myself and stop beating myself up all the time.
11. Do not allow negative people to disrupt my own good feelings.
This has been a struggle, as it can be. I am working on staying positive...and keeping those people at bay. For the time being, the issue has been with one person in particular that basically wants me to chase after her (call her and visit her) when I work full time and she doesn't make the same effort in our friendship. I have decided to stop repeating myself about working and let her come to me. I am sick of putting in all the effort to only get hurt in the end. So in a way, I am letting the negative go...but this is all still an ongoing work in progress.
12. Put myself on the top of the priority list.
So far, I have been happy with this. I have been taking care of myself and working on only improvements.
Overall, I would say I am doing great! I am focusing on keeping up with losing weight this year. I want to keep on the path I am on, making continue improvements and striving towards my weight loss goals. It feels good to know that the first 3 months of this year have gone so well, it makes me feel confident that I am doing the right things. While the weight loss has been slow, it is a loss and I keep telling myself what has become my mantra:
"Slow and steady wins the race"